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Band 4

It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

#people #world #governments #focus #country
The number of individuals who live all over the
world
 in
a different countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
different countries
a different country
show examples
 to desire
governments
’s assistance are on the rise; because many negative
crisises
Correct your spelling
crises
show examples
 happen continuously ; resulting in
people
 all around the
world
request
Wrong verb form
requesting
show examples
 some measure to advocate their daily quality of life. I am a strong advocate of
this
 approach, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 method I partially agree
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 disagree
, and
Change preposition
with, and
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 benefits
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be covered in
this
 essay. On the one hand, one of the most obvious benefits of developed
people
’s quality of life daily routine for individuals’s meeting needs in their
country
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 able to inform a more efficient
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 and less a negative effect approach
that is
 caused by all
people
 or the
governments
 in each
country
; because it is impossible to help all
people
 around the
world
 in need so
governments
 should focus on
people
 from their own
country
.
For instance
,
in stead
Correct your spelling
instead
show examples
 of solving the problem one part at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 time,
governments
 must solve and manage everything at the same time; it reduces
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 less
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 it should be.
This
 is the main reason why
governments
 should focus on their
country
.
On the other hand
,
governments
 are able to help all
people
 from around the
world
 from their own aspect to group together in each corporate from a different countries to exchange knowledge and experience in
governments
 their
country
,
For example
, in 1961, there was causing “ASEAN”, which is the Association of South East Asian Nation that came to be co-worker for working together to solve problems and help each other economically and many more
such
 as social, cultural, scientific or technological aspects. In
concussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
show examples
, Despite the solving of
governments
 and corporate around the
world
 approach;
it is clear that
 all of the
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
 have a difference
solving
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
; it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 matter of how convenient each
governments
Change to a singular noun
government
show examples
 is to help their
people
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources
  • moral obligation
  • global stability
  • economic impact
  • domestic issues
  • international aid
  • diplomatic relationships
  • resource allocation
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • national priorities
  • desperate need
  • indirect benefit
  • goodwill
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