IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from on university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five yeas.

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from on university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five yeas.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #yeas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart provides information about the types of
work
Use synonyms
, which are appeared to
students
Use synonyms
, who completed undergraduate
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 at the university. The table gives information about the incomes, which are related to anthropologists, who worked in the subject afterwards five years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the most significant category of destinations is "Full-time"
work
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the others have less success with
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
show examples
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
 spread to freelance consultants and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector. It is noticeable,
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 certain group of people, who selected
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 freelance consultants and government sector, have received more benefits in their salaries (in the first type of employment 40% of all
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 earn from 75000 to 99999
dollars
Use synonyms
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 40% get more 100000
dollars
Use synonyms
, in the second type the half of employees earn 100000
dollars
Use synonyms
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the majority of employees (35%) in private companies earn from 50000 to 74999
dollars
Use synonyms
. Most of
graduated
Add an article
the graduated
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in full-time
work
Use synonyms
 (
this
Linking Words
 area contains more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 amount of
students
Use synonyms
). The part-time
work
Use synonyms
, which contains postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
, shows the opposite information to the previous category of
work
Use synonyms
 (only 5% of all graduated
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 have decided to
work
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 direction).
Submitted by fedorusa2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, students, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • anthropology graduates
  • undergraduate degree course
  • chart
  • table
  • findings
  • conclusions
  • salary data
  • comparisons
  • summarize
  • opinion
  • suggestions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: