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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over 3 different areas from 1985 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over 3 different areas from 1985 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#differences #wheat #exports #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the wheat exports in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
Canada
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 and Europe over the period of 1985 to 1990.
Overall
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, the data from the three locations have fluctuated in numbers,
while
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 had the biggest difference in fluctuation.
Firstly
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, in 1985,
Canada
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 had the highest figure of wheat transported outside,
while
Linking Words
Australia
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 had the lowest at 15.
Canada
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's figure dropped to 18 the next year before sharply peaking at 25 in 1988.
Although
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 it rapidly decreased to about 15 in 1989, it increased again
18
Change preposition
to 18
show examples
 in 1990.
Moreover
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, the fluctuations were less for the other two areas.
Australia
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 experienced a slight growth of 16 from 15 in 1986;
however
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, it gradually declined to around 12 by 1990. Europe
on the other hand
Linking Words
, witnessed an increase in data in comparison to
Australia
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. It began at 17 in 1985,
then
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 fell to 15 by 1988 and
then
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finally
Linking Words
 peaked at 21 in 1990 by overtaking the rest.
Submitted by Mazam on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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