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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living alone in 5 different age groups in the USA between 1850 and 2000.

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A glance at a bar chart provided reveals the
number
Use synonyms
 of people residing in solitude, counted in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, from 1850 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a progressive growth pattern witnessed in all data. As for the figure of people living by themselves from 55-64 years old, it relentlessly accelerated to
such
Linking Words
 a noticeable
number
Use synonyms
 from three to approximately 17 and still maintained its crown in a
150-years
Fix the agreement mistake
150-year
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 period of time. In terms of those living alone 37-46-year-olds and those who are
at
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
Replace the word
aged
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from
Change preposition
apply
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47 to 54 years old, despite having a relatively homogeneous initial point in the proximity of 3,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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had a different level of growth.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
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 former observed a consistently erratic variation around that
number
Use synonyms
 after a century , followed by a vigorous hike to its peak in the vicinity of 7 in 2000. With regard to the breakdown of people living on their
owns
Replace the word
own
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 from 27 to 36 years old and those of 17-26-year-olds,
although
Linking Words
 there was no response detected any emergence of them until 1900 and 1950
equivalently
Rephrase
respectively
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, both of them exploded to
such
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
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 astounding
number
Use synonyms
 which is 4,5 and 6 respectively in the mentioned time epoch.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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