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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summerise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the routine of people
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
purchasing and consuming
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five Australian cities,
according to
Linking Words
 the results of a survey. Based on the chart it is obvious that the largest proportion of people went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
show examples
 in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Hobart,
while
Linking Words
 citizens in Adelaide were more inclined to buy
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 during the period. The percentages of city dwellers choosing to go to café in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks were higher than the other two
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 – buying fresh or
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 – in nearly every city. The largest margin appeared in Sydney and Melbourne, where the figure for going to café surpassed that of the second largest one – buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 - by about 15%.
However
Linking Words
, in
Adelaide
Add a comma
Adelaide,
show examples
 the situation was slightly different, with the portion for selecting
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 overtaking that of going to café by almost 1%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of people consuming fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks remained the smallest in all five 5 cities, considerably less than that of the other two
choice
Change to a plural noun
choices
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. The lowest figure
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was seen in Brisbane, with merely below 35% of citizens opting
fresh
Change preposition
for fresh
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 during
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 time.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, café, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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