IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fuit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#aircraft #transport #fuit #vegetables #countries #plants #season #people #idea
Up to now fruit and vegetable become more and more important thing in our life so,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plane is being used to transport vegetables and fruit to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries which hardly plant or
out
Add a missing verb
are out
show examples
 of season. Some people think it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 idealistic plant
while
 some individuals do not agree with it.
This
 writer
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with the formal choice and I will highlight the reasons why in the following essay. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 using
aircraft
 is a good idea
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 transport because
plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
show examples
 can do it
more and more faster
Change the word
faster and faster
faster
show examples
 than people
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the quality of food or vegetable which is transported by plane is high so it can
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
 protect the health of people who
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are some problems if we want to
use
aircraft
.
Firstly
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cost that we need to spend on maintenance or to fix one or more
aircraft
one
Change preposition
in one
show examples
 year is really high.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 we need to worry about the energy that
aircraft
 need to
use
while
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 judgment and it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of problems if the
aircraft
run
Change the verb form
runs
show examples
 out of oil.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion
aircraft
 is an idealistic chance in now day.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 if we have enough money to operate it smoothly our life will become more flexible and comfortable
Thus
, choosing to increase the
use
 of planes is the best way to supply green foods to other poor countries and problems with planting land. So we can conclude that
aircraft
 are the best transportation to do transit work from all over the world.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: