One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The
deverlopment
Correct your spelling
development
of medication can help human live longer and increase their expectation of
life
. I believe that the
adventage
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advantages
of the
deverlopment outweight
Correct your spelling
development outweigh
the disadvantage because
although
this
can lead to
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an aging
the aging
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aging
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ageing
show examples
society, the
deverlopment
Correct your spelling
development
can help
people
prevent
paintful
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painful
from any diseases. Improving
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medical
care
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
live longer,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to
Correct article usage
an aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
society problem. When
people
get older and live longer, make population of
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
more than other ages. A large amount of money
are spend
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are spent
show examples
on elder
care
given
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giving
show examples
. In Thailand,
for example
,
government
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the government
show examples
have to spend over 30 percent of
budget
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the budget
show examples
to
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
care
of
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the elder
an elder
show examples
elder
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elderly
show examples
,
instead
of developing other sector. The biggest benefit of medical
care
deverlopment
Correct your spelling
development
is that
people
can reduce
painful
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pain
show examples
from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
diseases.
People
do not have to worry about their health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
when medication is
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
, so they can focus on
otherthings
Correct your spelling
other things
of
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in
show examples
their
life
that make
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
more
fulfill
Replace the word
fulfilled
show examples
and more expectancy. In
conclysion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
althrough
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although
the
deverlopment
of medication can lead to
aging
Add an article
an aging
the aging
show examples
society, I
stongly beliveve
Correct your spelling
strongly believe
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deverlopment
can
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
more.
Submitted by cd_patcharakamol on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • dependency ratio
  • healthcare costs
  • working-age population
  • financial stability
  • medical research
  • age-related diseases
  • generational bonds
  • social services
  • pensions
  • elderly care
  • consumer market
  • ethical considerations
  • prolonged life
  • burden on healthcare systems
  • wisdom and experience
  • retirement periods
  • family bonds
  • industries targeting elderly
  • improved medical care
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