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Band 5.5

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger one. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

#people #employment #create
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern time, career plays a crucial role in the life of
everybodyin
Correct your spelling
everybody in
everybody
 over the
world
 so everybody
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
age
 have a trendy
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rivalry. For that reason, many
people
 fall into unemployment
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 the aged
people
 .
This
 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
 phenomenon and
then
 offer some solutions to it.
Age
 discrimination becomes a barrier
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 in the
middle-
Correct your spelling
middle age
show examples
age
. In
this
 century, under the development of technology and AI , unemployment become more and more
seriously
Change the word
serious
show examples
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
at
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
. When recruitment , leaders
also
 want to choose the younger
instead
 of the older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, they think that younger
people
 can
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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 the new changes better than older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
although
 they are the
counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
counterparts
show examples
.
This
 issue can create
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 imbalance between two
age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
groups, it
also
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the iniquitous activities of the directions of the factory. To illustrate
this
 point , consider Facebook - one of the biggest apps in the
world
,
the
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 recent survey
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that the average
age
 of the employees who want to work in
this
 company stands at 28. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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really
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big distance
with
Change preposition
from
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 the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 companies. A possible solution to
this
 problem would be to have more policies to enhance the issues. The
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should apply strict laws to prevent
this
 from happening.
Besides
, they
also
 encourage the contribution of the older in the social fields
in particular
 and in all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 in general. Taking Japan as a prime example,
this
country
regards
Wrong verb form
is regarded
show examples
 as the old
country
 with the rate of
olders
Correct your spelling
older
stands
Wrong verb form
people standing
show examples
 at the highest point.
Therefore
,
this
country
 promote the older dedication to the
country
 and have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 suitable campaign to urge the inhabitant to still work. For
this
 effort, the economy of
this
country
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 at the top of the
world
 and so the technology
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
 essay reiterates that
due to
 the concern of unemployment in the
world
 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination between all ages .
Therefore
, it should have been shown that promoting and having policies is urgently
nedd
Correct your spelling
needed
need
.
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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageism
  • stigma
  • discrimination
  • technological advancements
  • adaptability
  • professional growth
  • motivation
  • energy levels
  • job openings
  • financial stability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: