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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger one. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

#people #employment #create
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern time, career plays a crucial role in the life of
everybodyin
Correct your spelling
everybody in
everybody
 over the
world
Use synonyms
 so everybody
in
Change preposition
of
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 all
age
Use synonyms
 have a trendy
to
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apply
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rivalry. For that reason, many
people
Use synonyms
 fall into unemployment
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 the aged
people
Use synonyms
 .
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and
then
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 offer some solutions to it.
Age
Use synonyms
 discrimination becomes a barrier
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 in the
middle-
Correct your spelling
middle age
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age
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 century, under the development of technology and AI , unemployment become more and more
seriously
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serious
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particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
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at
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older
people
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. When recruitment , leaders
also
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 want to choose the younger
instead
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 of the older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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, they think that younger
people
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 can
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
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with
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to
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 the new changes better than older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
although
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 they are the
counterpart
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counterparts
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.
This
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 issue can create
the
Correct article usage
an
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 imbalance between two
age
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of
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apply
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groups, it
also
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show
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shows
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 the iniquitous activities of the directions of the factory. To illustrate
this
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 point , consider Facebook - one of the biggest apps in the
world
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,
the
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 recent survey
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 that the average
age
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 of the employees who want to work in
this
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 company stands at 28. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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really
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 big distance
with
Change preposition
from
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 the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 companies. A possible solution to
this
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 problem would be to have more policies to enhance the issues. The
authority
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authorities
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 should apply strict laws to prevent
this
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 from happening.
Besides
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, they
also
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 encourage the contribution of the older in the social fields
in particular
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 and in all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 in general. Taking Japan as a prime example,
this
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country
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regards
Wrong verb form
is regarded
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 as the old
country
Use synonyms
 with the rate of
olders
Correct your spelling
older
stands
Wrong verb form
people standing
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 at the highest point.
Therefore
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,
this
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country
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 promote the older dedication to the
country
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 and have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 suitable campaign to urge the inhabitant to still work. For
this
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 effort, the economy of
this
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country
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stand
Change the verb form
stands
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 at the top of the
world
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 and so the technology
do
Change the verb form
does
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to
Replace the word
too
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. In conclusion,
this
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 essay reiterates that
due to
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 the concern of unemployment in the
world
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 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination between all ages .
Therefore
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, it should have been shown that promoting and having policies is urgently
nedd
Correct your spelling
needed
need
.
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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageism
  • stigma
  • discrimination
  • technological advancements
  • adaptability
  • professional growth
  • motivation
  • energy levels
  • job openings
  • financial stability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: