In some societies,the number of crimes comitted by teenagers is growing.some people think that regardless of age teenagers who commit majour crimes should receive adult punishment.To what extent do you agree of disagree?

The number of crimes committed by

adults

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has increased in some communities, some people think it is fair for young

adults

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to receive the same

punishment

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that older

adults

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received

Wrong verb form

receive

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.I personally disagree with

this

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opinion ,and here I am going to explain why rehabilitation is better than cruel

punishment

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. Some people think that all criminals should face the same trial no matter how old are they, they think that

this

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way young

adults

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will not commit crimes if they know that the convict is going to be very hard.

Also

Linking Words

, young offenders must take responsibility for their crimes and be aware of the consequences of their offences. By giving them the same

punishment

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adults

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, we can prevent the community from

unresponsible

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irresponsible

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youngsters

Change noun form

youngsters'

youngster's

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behaviours . From my point of view, I think

this

Linking Words

is not correct, young

adults

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still learning how to deal with life and the community they are living in, and by giving them the same

trails

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trials

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as older offenders we are going to create hardness and sadness inside them, which will lead to the more bad attitude in the future.

Insteadstead

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Instead

, we should focus on rehabilitating those teenagers , by educating them and teaching them how to control their behaviour. That doesn't mean they should not receive

punishment

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,but it should be less cruel,to teach them not to commit the same crime in the future. in conclusion ,

although

Linking Words

punishment

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is important to not allow the teenager to repeat their crime, In my opinion, the

punishment

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should not be the same as the older criminals ,

in stead

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instead

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communities should rehabilitate youngsters.

hanabadawy

Oct 24, 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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In some societies,the number of crimes comitted by teenagers is growing.some people think that regardless of age teenagers who commit majour crimes should receive adult punishment.To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Music and other arts seem to be features of every society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals?

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?