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Writing Samples
Band 3

Importance of Physical Education in School Explain your answer giving reasons and specific examples.

#importance #education #school
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Nowadays, all
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 give
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
importance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Physical Education.
Overall
Linking Words
,
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 essay shall explain the reasons and examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the extra curriculum activities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 one of the important in the
school
Use synonyms
organiztion
Correct your spelling
organization
 because Physical
Edcution
Correct your spelling
Education
 is one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
show examples
addded
Correct your spelling
added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the curriculum
as well as
Linking Words
 it can distract
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
students
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who awlays
show examples
awlays
Correct your spelling
always
 uses their
mobils
Correct your spelling
mobile
mobiles
 phones.
In addition
Linking Words
, their a lot of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 hobbies in sports
as well as
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
singing, dancing
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, help to exercise
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 mind and body from the pressure of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 other subjects.
Additionally
Linking Words
, boost
Correct article usage
the confident
show examples
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the student if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 will perform
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 stage and
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
Add a missing verb
is benificial
show examples
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 to explore their talents so that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can share
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their families or in
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Physical Education can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can not afford to send their children to
school
Use synonyms
.
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
show examples
 to the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 extra curriculum activities for the reason that can give them
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 in the province
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 afford to continue
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college but the
students
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very good in one
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
 like basketball. In conclusion, extra activities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 with problem in
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
show examples
conditon
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, it helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who are not born rich but
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
lot of talents.
Submitted by kimberlygumban on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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