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Band 4.5

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people opposie it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#aircraft #transport #fruit #vegetables #countries #plants #season #people #idea #opposie
Using
aeroplane
Correct article usage
an aeroplane
show examples
 is the best way to transport
fruits
 and
vegetables
 to many nations that can not standard of the season
while
 some
people
 argue that it is a bad method because of causing negative effects. Some
people
 believe that
plane
Correct article usage
a plane
show examples
 is a means of transporting
food
 that can save a lot of time. Many
countries
 can not grow tropical
fruits
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are good conditions for tropical
countries
 to expand relationships with nations and develop national financial resources.
In addition
, it is easy for
people
 in different
countries
 to try and enjoy many types of
fruits
 and
vegetables
such
 as dragon fruit and spinach. European
countries
 are an example, the crops in their
countries
 are not appropriate for the environment and lands.
As a result
, delivery by aeroplane
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
popular
Change the adjective
popularly
show examples
 used to
transportation
Replace the word
transport
show examples
 crops to
countries
 where are lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
plants.
On the other hand
, exporting
food
 by aeroplane still has many problems and is not supported by others
This
 means that shipping abroad is more expensive than growing in their
countries
.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it can not be grown, there is no other way than importing. 
For instance
, the seller will use
preservative
Fix the agreement mistake
preservatives
show examples
 to maintain the quality that
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 their health
such
 as cancer and lifespan.
Moreover
, the airline is the cause of environmental pollution. Starting an
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 can consume a lot of fossil fuels
such
 as coal and oil, which greatly affects the environment
as well as
 human health.
Therefore
,
fruits
 and
vegetables
 are protested by
people
 when it is imported. The writer believes that
fruits
 and
vegetables
 will be exported by aircraft. Because of
this
,
people
 in tropical
countries
 want other nations to enjoy the kind of
food
 that makes more relationships. In conclusion, the airline makes good transportation for
food
whereas
 some
people
 do not want imported
fruits
 and
vegetables
.
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion on it. Also, provide a brief outline of the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a coherent manner. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use appropriate linking words to connect your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and precision of your ideas. Avoid generalizations and provide more specific details.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more varied and engaging.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar. Review the rules for subject-verb agreement and appropriate verb tense usage.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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