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Writing Samples
Band 6

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger one.what problem can this create?What are some solutions?

#people #employment #create
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Nowadays, it is true that in order to apply for jobs senior citizens have to be in competition with younger ones. Several
problems
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 relating to society have resulted from
this
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 tendency and they should be tackled by several effective solutions from national and local authorities. There are some main
problems
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 caused by the competition between the old and the young. The main issue is that older people often have difficulty in finding jobs because of age discrimination.
Therefore
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, they can become unemployed, which not only increases the unemployment rate in the community but
also
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 makes them unable to meet basic human needs
as well as
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 decreases their quality of life. Another problem is that the old employers can be put under a lot of pressure as younger people are capable of adapting more easily to changes in work practices than the elderly
could do
Verb problem
apply
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.
As a consequence
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, older workers may have some health
problems
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such
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 as heart disease or headaches
due to
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 the stress of copying these changes. Since
such
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 issues are serious, the government and individuals should take steps immediately to address these
problems
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. The first solution would be
that
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for
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 the government can impose laws on companies to stop discrimination against older workers.
Therefore
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, the elderly can have more opportunities to apply for a job successfully and make their living. The second solution is that older individuals should train their skills hard and adopt positive attitudes to changes at work.
Besides
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, if young colleagues help them out with work, the elderly can perform better. In conclusion, the rivalry between older and younger people in employment has negative impacts on society so
that
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apply
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appropriate solutions should be taken by not only governments but
also
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 individuals to prevent
this
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 situation.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageism
  • stigma
  • discrimination
  • technological advancements
  • adaptability
  • professional growth
  • motivation
  • energy levels
  • job openings
  • financial stability
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