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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives information relating to the average number of British travelers using car, bus and train to commute on a daily basis over a period of 6 decades, starting from 1970.

The line graph gives information relating to the average number of British travelers using car, bus and train to commute on a daily basis over a period of 6 decades, starting from 1970.
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The line graph displays details on the number of
people
 travelling
with
Change preposition
by
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 car, bus,
train
Correct word choice
and train
show examples
 in Britain daily between 1970 and 2030.The units
is
Change the verb form
are
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 measured in millions.
Overall
,it is evident from the chart that, there was an upward trend in the use of all transportation mediums, with the use of
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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 being an exception.
To begin
 with, In 1970,the number of
people
 who travelled
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 car was the highest amongst other transport systems at 5
million
,
however
, that of the
train
 was the least at 2
million
. From 1970,the figure increased steadily across
board
Correct article usage
the board
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.
Furthermore
,the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who
transported
Add a missing verb
are transported
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 via car skyrocketed over the years to 9
million
 by 2030 hitting the high of the chart.
Although
, the figures of
people
 who commuted via
train
 plunged to almost 3
million
 by 2030 being the least
while
 those who made use of
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
show examples
 to commute made an intersection with the figure of
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 at 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 between 2010 and 2020, and eventually rose to 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and was the second highest by 2030.
Submitted by bumzyakins on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, train, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute
  • mode of transport
  • fluctuating trend
  • downward trend
  • public transport policies
  • preferences
  • railway infrastructure
  • economic factors
  • environmental factors
  • technological factors
  • sustainable commuting
  • noticeable increase
  • investments
  • dominance
  • propensity
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