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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives information relating to the average number of British travelers using car, bus and train to commute on a daily basis over a period of 6 decades, starting from 1970.

The line graph gives information relating to the average number of British travelers using car, bus and train to commute on a daily basis over a period of 6 decades, starting from 1970.
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The line graph displays details on the number of
people
Use synonyms
 travelling
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 car, bus,
Use synonyms
train
Correct word choice
and train
show examples
 in Britain daily between 1970 and 2030.The units
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident from the chart that, there was an upward trend in the use of all transportation mediums, with the use of
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 being an exception.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In 1970,the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who travelled
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 car was the highest amongst other transport systems at 5
million
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, that of the
train
Use synonyms
 was the least at 2
million
Use synonyms
. From 1970,the figure increased steadily across
board
Correct article usage
the board
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who
transported
Add a missing verb
are transported
show examples
 via car skyrocketed over the years to 9
million
Use synonyms
 by 2030 hitting the high of the chart.
Although
Linking Words
, the figures of
people
Use synonyms
 who commuted via
train
Use synonyms
 plunged to almost 3
million
Use synonyms
 by 2030 being the least
while
Linking Words
 those who made use of
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
show examples
 to commute made an intersection with the figure of
Use synonyms
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 at 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 between 2010 and 2020, and eventually rose to 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and was the second highest by 2030.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, train, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute
  • mode of transport
  • fluctuating trend
  • downward trend
  • public transport policies
  • preferences
  • railway infrastructure
  • economic factors
  • environmental factors
  • technological factors
  • sustainable commuting
  • noticeable increase
  • investments
  • dominance
  • propensity
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