Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It goes without saying that children make up the majority of the population. Considering
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fact, they form the basic foundation of the society. Few people believe to be a good part of society, guardians should teach their kids
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others are of the opine it starts from school.I strongly believe that
academy
Fix the agreement mistake
academies

It seems that academy may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are the places where they learn to become better contributors to a community. To start with parental
taeching
Correct your spelling
teaching
teachings

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, as they form the backbone of a family, it is evident that offspring would absorb what their caretaker's beliefs are. Children usually mimic their family members,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it attributes and forms the
dirent
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direct

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line of teaching
moralsand
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morals and

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values. It has
been notes
Change the verb form
been noted

It appears that the form of the verb notes does not work with been in this sentence.

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that
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents who work and have a schedule, their kids tend to learn the importance of a routine.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

enlightens the matter of those families who are unable to give sufficient
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to their families, meaning schools play a key role among
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

pupils. With ever-increasing demands and the importance of education , students in the current era invest more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in schools rather than their own homes .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

highlights the fact that these learning institutes influence their personality and intellect the most.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, being surrounded by multiple learners from various backgrounds
,
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apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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includes a sense of clear understanding of the world outside school. Numerous studies have proven that
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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majority of
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders

It seems that leader may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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globally used to spend more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school

It seems that schools may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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than at home. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
considering

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cinsidering
Correct your spelling
considering

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the demands of
Add an article
the

The noun phrase modern world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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modern world,
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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mostly surrounded by their peers and has
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Correct your spelling
great impact

The words graet impacton seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

graet
Correct your spelling
great

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impacton
Correct your spelling
impact
impact on

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on their intellectual abilities which
fastforward
Correct your spelling
fast forward
fast-forward

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becomes a factor in becoming a respectable part
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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