More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

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It is true that a growing number of
people
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in developing nations are buying their first
cars
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. In my opinion, there are a number of issues resulting from
this
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phenomenon, and several solutions should be adopted to improve the situation.
To begin
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with, having a car in the developing
countries
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results in several issues as follows. A significant
problem
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stemming from
this
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problem
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is traffic congestion. It is
due to
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fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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that in developing
countries
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, infrastructure has not been upgraded or is undeveloped.
This
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will lead to
cars
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take
Wrong verb form
taking
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up all the space for other vehicles, and motorbikes and bicycles encroach on sidewalks and pedestrian lanes. A detrimental effect of the issues is
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution
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. As car ownership is increasing in developing
countries
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, environmental
pollution
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will
also
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increase. Statistics show that Motor vehicles emit 30% to 85% of all man-made air pollutants in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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large urban areas in developing
countries
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, depending on the level of motorization. Without effective measures to control pollutant emissions, some 300 to 500 million city dwellers in developing
countries
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will become exposed to unhealthy and dangerous levels of air
pollution
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from motor vehicles. Serious attempts to solve the
problem
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must be made. The solution to overcome
this
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problem
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can be to increase taxes on car owners. Dr. Nguyen Manh Hai,
researcher
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a researcher
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at the Central Institute for Economic Management (CIEM) proposed that the Government and State agencies need to continue to maintain and increase the collection level of the special consumption tax policy for
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cars
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and fossil fuels to limit consumption of these goods. The proposal aims to reduce traffic congestion
as well as
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pollution
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.
Besides
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, to reduce environmental
pollution
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, the Government should introduce policies
as well as
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encourage
people
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to use public transportation. In conclusion, the increasing number of
people
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buying new
cars
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in developing
countries
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can have harmful effects on the environment worldwide and
people
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's health and happiness. Some good solutions to
this
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problem
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are charging more taxes and making petrol more expensive.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion is weak. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and the ideas are not well-organized. Work on organizing your ideas and developing a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the ideas are not fully developed and the examples provided are not clearly linked to the problems and solutions. Work on providing a more comprehensive response and linking your examples more clearly to the problems and solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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