More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?
It is true that a growing number of
people
in developing nations are buying their first cars
. In my opinion, there are a number of issues resulting from this
phenomenon, and several solutions should be adopted to improve the situation.
To begin
with, having a car in the developing countries
results in several issues as follows. A significant problem
stemming from this
problem
is traffic congestion. It is due to
fact
that in developing Correct article usage
the fact
countries
, infrastructure has not been upgraded or is undeveloped. This
will lead to cars
take
up all the space for other vehicles, and motorbikes and bicycles encroach on sidewalks and pedestrian lanes. A detrimental effect of the issues is Wrong verb form
taking
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution
. As car ownership is increasing in developing countries
, environmental pollution
will also
increase. Statistics show that Motor vehicles emit 30% to 85% of all man-made air pollutants in the
large urban areas in developing Correct article usage
apply
countries
, depending on the level of motorization. Without effective measures to control pollutant emissions, some 300 to 500 million city dwellers in developing countries
will become exposed to unhealthy and dangerous levels of air pollution
from motor vehicles.
Serious attempts to solve the problem
must be made. The solution to overcome this
problem
can be to increase taxes on car owners. Dr. Nguyen Manh Hai, researcher
at the Central Institute for Economic Management (CIEM) proposed that the Government and State agencies need to continue to maintain and increase the collection level of the special consumption tax policy for Add an article
a researcher
with
Change preposition
apply
cars
and fossil fuels to limit consumption of these goods. The proposal aims to reduce traffic congestion as well as
pollution
. Besides
, to reduce environmental pollution
, the Government should introduce policies as well as
encourage people
to use public transportation.
In conclusion, the increasing number of people
buying new cars
in developing countries
can have harmful effects on the environment worldwide and people
's health and happiness. Some good solutions to this
problem
are charging more taxes and making petrol more expensive.Submitted by my251e3 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion is weak. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and the ideas are not well-organized. Work on organizing your ideas and developing a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the ideas are not fully developed and the examples provided are not clearly linked to the problems and solutions. Work on providing a more comprehensive response and linking your examples more clearly to the problems and solutions.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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