More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

It is true that a growing number of
people
in developing nations are buying their first
cars
. In my opinion, there are a number of issues resulting from
this
phenomenon, and several solutions should be adopted to improve the situation.
To begin
with, having a car in the developing
countries
results in several issues as follows. A significant
problem
stemming from
this
problem
is traffic congestion. It is
due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
that in developing
countries
, infrastructure has not been upgraded or is undeveloped.
This
will lead to
cars
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
up all the space for other vehicles, and motorbikes and bicycles encroach on sidewalks and pedestrian lanes. A detrimental effect of the issues is
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution
. As car ownership is increasing in developing
countries
, environmental
pollution
will
also
increase. Statistics show that Motor vehicles emit 30% to 85% of all man-made air pollutants in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large urban areas in developing
countries
, depending on the level of motorization. Without effective measures to control pollutant emissions, some 300 to 500 million city dwellers in developing
countries
will become exposed to unhealthy and dangerous levels of air
pollution
from motor vehicles. Serious attempts to solve the
problem
must be made. The solution to overcome
this
problem
can be to increase taxes on car owners. Dr. Nguyen Manh Hai,
researcher
Add an article
a researcher
show examples
at the Central Institute for Economic Management (CIEM) proposed that the Government and State agencies need to continue to maintain and increase the collection level of the special consumption tax policy for
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cars
and fossil fuels to limit consumption of these goods. The proposal aims to reduce traffic congestion
as well as
pollution
.
Besides
, to reduce environmental
pollution
, the Government should introduce policies
as well as
encourage
people
to use public transportation. In conclusion, the increasing number of
people
buying new
cars
in developing
countries
can have harmful effects on the environment worldwide and
people
's health and happiness. Some good solutions to
this
problem
are charging more taxes and making petrol more expensive.
Submitted by my251e3 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion is weak. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and the ideas are not well-organized. Work on organizing your ideas and developing a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the ideas are not fully developed and the examples provided are not clearly linked to the problems and solutions. Work on providing a more comprehensive response and linking your examples more clearly to the problems and solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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