IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.

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Smoking generally is not the best behaviour.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 some
people
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 can not handle their life without smoking. Some
people
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smokes
Change the verb form
smoke
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 for joy and
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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. Nicotine can really bring some
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
, which is even approved by a lot of tests made by scientists.
Otherwise
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, the effect is temporary and I think it
doesn'
Verb problem
isn't
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t
Use synonyms
 worth it. Smoking tradition,
as well as
Linking Words
 the terminology, generally
appears
Wrong verb form
appeared
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 a lot of time ago, but it is still taking place in our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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. As for me, I am not
conveinced
Correct your spelling
convinced
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are smoking in front of me or nearby. There are a lot of places in our country marked as a spot for smoking, which
people
Use synonyms
 can easily use, and they will not interfere
anyone's
Change preposition
with anyone's
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 rest or time
spending
Replace the word
spent
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. Especially if we are talking about the
caffes
Correct your spelling
cafes
 or other restrooms. There are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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special places or even different halls or rooms for smoking
people
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, so they will not affect non-smoking
people
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. On the other side of the medal, we have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers
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, who sometimes don'
t
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 even have a place allowed for
smoking
Replace the word
smoke
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, especially in some little villages or cities.
For example
Linking Words
, in my town, there are no smoking spots at all, only some
caffes
Correct your spelling
cafes
 have sits for
smokers
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, and there are not too many of them. There are no smoking spots around my town at all, no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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sign or table that says that you can or can not
smoke
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 here.
That is
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 a problem of smaller towns, and it should be solved. Even if you don'
t
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 like that
people
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smokes
Change the verb form
smoke
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 in front of you, you can not prove that he or she is wrong,
as well as
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 the smoker can not prove that it is legal and allowed. That's a little bit hard for non-smoking
people
Use synonyms
 to move forward or close to the smoking
people
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. The smell is truly
awfull
Correct your spelling
awful
 and
smokers
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 can'
t
Use synonyms
 even smell it. I know what I'm talking about, because I
smoke
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 as well, and thankfully I finished with that health-braking
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
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. I would
also
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 like to discuss
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
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 of
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are not smoking, but
also
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 doing everything to make everyone stop smoking. At least they think so. They are going into the hookah bar and saying that it is too "cloudy" here, asking to
smoke
Use synonyms
quiter
Correct your spelling
quite
quieter
,
in other words
Linking Words
, doing everything to stop
people
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around
Change preposition
from smoking
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smoke
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. I don'
t
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 really appreciate or approve
that
Change preposition
of that
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 kind of view, but those
people
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 think that if they do not
smoke
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 - no one
shouldn'
Rephrase
should
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t
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smoke
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.
That is
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 disrespectful, and I'm always saying that. To summarize, I would like to
tell
Verb problem
say
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 that smoking is not the best thing
people
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 can do, but we should treat and respect
people
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 who would like to
smoke
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. They have the same rights, and smoking doesn'
t
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violates
Change the verb form
violate
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 the law
,
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apply
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 if it is done in
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
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 way and in
proper
Add an article
the proper
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 place. Of course, we are not talking about the forbidden stuff. I think that everyone should decide if he would like to
smoke
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 or not, but the rights of
smokers
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 should
be treat
Change the verb form
be treated
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 in the same way as all the other population who
doesn'
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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t
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smoke
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.
For
Change preposition
In
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 conclusion, I would like to say
: If
Correct your spelling
that if
 you are going to
smoke
Use synonyms
, think twice, and make sure that
a
Correct article usage
the
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 temporary joy you'll get is worth a few days or even hours of your life, because, as everyone knows, smoking kills!

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task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to clearly state your position on whether you think the smoking ban is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with relevant details.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving paragraph transitions to create a smoother flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammar, spelling, and clarity to enhance the overall presentation of ideas.
task achievement
You provided personal insights and experiences to support your arguments, which makes your essay relatable.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear progression of ideas, which helps in understanding your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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