In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.
In some countries today, smoking in public
places
and office buildings are
not Correct subject-verb agreement
is
alowed
anymore. Correct your spelling
allowed
While
a lot of people
would not be into this
, I strongly agree that this
rule is good and might cause positive changes to most peoples
lives and Change noun form
people's
this
essay will give a few resons
for Correct your spelling
reasons
such
an opinion.
First of all, it is know
how Wrong verb form
known
harmfull
smoking is to our health and not only to the Correct your spelling
harmful
people
who are actually smoking but to the ones that are just standing next to smoking
person and Add an article
the smoking
a smoking
enhale
the Correct your spelling
inhale
enhance
exhale
smoke
. For instance
, there are many people
, including kids in public places
like parks who do not smoke
and don't want to breath
Replace the word
breathe
this
poluted
air and providing Correct your spelling
polluted
of
Change preposition
apply
such
a restriction in such
places
will protect these people
from damaging their health.
Secondly
, increasing amount of places
where smoking is restricted might help people
who wants
to Change the verb form
want
smoke
less or quit smoking. If smokers will not have a
possibility to Correct article usage
the
smoke
wherever a
and whenever they can, they will have to spend some time finding a special place and it might reduce the Correct article usage
apply
amount
of times they Change the quantifier
number
smoke
. Moreover
, if they will have to pay fee
for smoking in Add an article
a fee
the fee
restricted
place, it will Add an article
a restricted
also
stop them from smoking. So, I think such
a rule might help some people
to quit smoking.
In conclusion, not alowing
Correct your spelling
allowing
people
to smoke
in most public places
and office buildings is a good rule because it can help people
to avoid the
damage to their health as for smokers themself, Correct article usage
apply
such
for
those who don't even want to Change preposition
as
smoke
.Submitted by helgavitalivna on
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task achievement
You have presented relevant ideas and provided a clear standpoint. However, more specific examples and detailed support for your main points would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a sensible structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs would enhance the overall coherence.
grammar usage
Some sentences have grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as “it is know how harmfull” and “wherever a and whenever” which confuse the reader. Proofread your essay to correct these errors for a clearer message.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by providing reasons why you believe the smoking ban in public places is a good rule.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position, which helps to frame your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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