In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.

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In some countries today, smoking in public
places
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and office buildings
are
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is
show examples
not
alowed
Correct your spelling
allowed
anymore.
While
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a lot of
people
Use synonyms
would not be into
this
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, I strongly agree that
this
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rule is good and might cause positive changes to most
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives and
this
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essay will give a few
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
for
such
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an opinion. First of all, it is
know
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known
show examples
how
harmfull
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harmful
smoking is to our health and not only to the
people
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who are actually smoking but to the ones that are just standing next to
smoking
Add an article
the smoking
a smoking
show examples
person and
enhale
Correct your spelling
inhale
enhance
exhale
the
smoke
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.
For instance
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, there are many
people
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, including kids in public
places
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like parks who do not
smoke
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and don't want to
breath
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breathe
show examples
this
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poluted
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polluted
air and providing
of
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apply
show examples
such
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a restriction in
such
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places
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will protect these
people
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from damaging their health.
Secondly
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, increasing amount of
places
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where smoking is restricted might help
people
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who
wants
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want
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to
smoke
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less or quit smoking. If smokers will not have
a
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the
show examples
possibility to
smoke
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wherever
a
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apply
show examples
and whenever they can, they will have to spend some time finding a special place and it might reduce the
amount
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number
show examples
of times they
smoke
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.
Moreover
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, if they will have to pay
fee
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a fee
the fee
show examples
for smoking in
restricted
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a restricted
show examples
place, it will
also
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stop them from smoking. So, I think
such
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a rule might help some
people
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to quit smoking. In conclusion, not
alowing
Correct your spelling
allowing
people
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to
smoke
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in most public
places
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and office buildings is a good rule because it can help
people
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to avoid
the
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apply
show examples
damage to their health as for smokers themself,
such
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for
Change preposition
as
show examples
those who don't even want to
smoke
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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task achievement
You have presented relevant ideas and provided a clear standpoint. However, more specific examples and detailed support for your main points would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a sensible structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs would enhance the overall coherence.
grammar usage
Some sentences have grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as “it is know how harmfull” and “wherever a and whenever” which confuse the reader. Proofread your essay to correct these errors for a clearer message.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by providing reasons why you believe the smoking ban in public places is a good rule.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position, which helps to frame your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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