Topic: The other people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

#topic #people #employment #ones #create

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The competition

Correct article usage

Competition

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in society plays a crucial role to be able for us to reach a better quality of life.

However

Linking Words

, one of the problems can be created noticeably

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes

Verb problem

creates

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the gap between generations and many accompanying problems . Yet, it can be solved by the government's measures to bond each

generation

Use synonyms

with another

such

Linking Words

as organizing social activities or improving the salary for the old

generation

Use synonyms

. The foremost problem is caused by the different health of each

generation

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the old has weaker health than the young. Their muscles can work effectively the same as before. It should be recognised that

this

Linking Words

problem decreases the amount of work the old people do.

However

Linking Words

not to mention

Linking Words

that the old people have lots of valuable experience than the young, so they deserve to have benefits in

this

Linking Words

competition

such

Linking Words

as improving their salary.

On the other hand

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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young people should compete with themselves rather than with the old. First of all, they have good health, youthfulness and dynamism.

This

Linking Words

can help the young work effectively rather than the old.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the main source of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

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is from the young. It means that the competition ought to happen with each other to be able to develop better.

Although

Linking Words

it can distance society from the younger

generation

Use synonyms

, it is necessary for us to change and advance our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. In conclusion, there are indeed various consequences associated with the elderly competing for jobs with the younger

generation

Use synonyms

, but they can be resolved once appropriate measures are urgently applied.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Oct 24 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic: The other people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is an individual responsibility to take care of an environment but others think it is the government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion

In writing task describe the data in the two figures below that relate to banks in the UK. Write two or three paragraphs describing the information included in the two figures.

People in major cities suffer from high levels of air pollution, causing health problems for many. What are the main reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?