IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

your university is conductiong to know how many work hours should be permitted tostudents in a week time OptionA - Less than 15hiurs per week in a single job optionB- Morethan 20hours per week with all multiple jobs hours added

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I would prefer that working
hours
Use synonyms
 should be less than 15
hours
Use synonyms
 per week
instead
Linking Words
 of more than 20
hours
Use synonyms
 with
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
multiple jobs. Let me explain the two main reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would say that permitting students to do
work
Use synonyms
 for limited
hours
Use synonyms
 a week
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
 them to improve their focus in education.
In other words
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
rule
Correct article usage
a rule
show examples
 gives enough time for them to concentrate and score good grades.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Western countries, college graduates are permitted to
work
Use synonyms
 only for 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
overall
Linking Words
 grades are excellent for those who are studying overseas.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I believe that limited part-time
hours
Use synonyms
 in
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 job allow them to learn more about that one specific job.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that, working in multiple jobs might not help them to master all skills, which in turn
resulting
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 in a waste of time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will not be able to accomplish success in their curriculum-related activities
such
Linking Words
 as assignments and projects. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 students can make money by working in various jobs, I believe that they should be allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 less than 15
hours
Use synonyms
 considering the impacts of too much
work
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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