Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Shools have a responsibility to monitor what their studetnts eat and amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree with the statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #shools #responsibility #studetnts #amount #exercise

There is no denying in saying that obesity has significantly increased in the younger generation, especially in Australia, which accounts for 16% of its adolescent population. Some believe that one's

food

intake and exercise habits can be monitored, and it is the

school

's responsibility. I completely agree with the notion and put forward the reasons for it.

To begin

with, the schools always have the upper hand in impacting education about healthy/unhealthy

food

and its consequences. When blended with the technology, logical reasoning will be developed amongst the children.

For instance

, a recent survey in the

school

of Canberra showed a drastic downward fall in obesity, after showing "

Food

and its nutritional value" videos to the students weekly.

Thus

, the teachers are the pioneers of it.

However

, what if an individual consumes fatty

food

at home?

Such

a thing can be controlled if the

school

formulates strict rules of doing exercise regularly for at least 30 minutes before the academics start. If implemented, it will definitely help in reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cholesterol levels.

Hence

, leaving no stone unturned, for any excuse to develop

Remove the article

apply

show examples

childhood obesity. In conclusion, since the children spend most of their time at

school

, the teachers should take up as a challenge to inculcate the right habits in a pupil.

Submitted by ronak.sharma2209 on Wed Oct 25 2023

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Shools have a responsibility to monitor what their studetnts eat and amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private healthcare outweigh the advantages?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?