Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Shools have a responsibility to monitor what their studetnts eat and amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree with the statement?

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There is no denying in saying that obesity has significantly increased in the younger generation, especially in Australia, which accounts for 16% of its adolescent population. Some believe that one's

food

intake and exercise habits can be monitored, and it is the

school

's responsibility. I completely agree with the notion and put forward the reasons for it.

To begin

with, the schools always have the upper hand in impacting education about healthy/unhealthy

food

and its consequences. When blended with the technology, logical reasoning will be developed amongst the children.

For instance

, a recent survey in the

school

of Canberra showed a drastic downward fall in obesity, after showing "

Food

and its nutritional value" videos to the students weekly.

Thus

, the teachers are the pioneers of it.

However

, what if an individual consumes fatty

food

at home?

Such

a thing can be controlled if the

school

formulates strict rules of doing exercise regularly for at least 30 minutes before the academics start. If implemented, it will definitely help in reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cholesterol levels.

Hence

, leaving no stone unturned, for any excuse to develop

Remove the article

apply

show examples

childhood obesity. In conclusion, since the children spend most of their time at

school

, the teachers should take up as a challenge to inculcate the right habits in a pupil.

Submitted by ronak.sharma2209 on Wed Oct 25 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Shools have a responsibility to monitor what their studetnts eat and amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: ﻿﻿Your reason for writing ﻿﻿What you would like to happen ﻿﻿A nice, respectful style.

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.