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Band 4.5

Today food travels from thousand of miles from the farm to consumer. Some people say it would be better for economy and environment if people ate food produced from local farmers. Would advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

#food #thousand #miles #farm #consumer #people #economy #environment #farmers #outweigh
In
this
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
show examples
 era, it is common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
 farmers
produce
Fix the infinitive
to produce
show examples
food
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their farms but consumers purchase it in different countries which is too far from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 production. Some
people
 gave their view that if
people
 consume
food
 produced
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 local farmers
then
 it is beneficial for both
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. In my
perception
Add a comma
perception,
show examples
 the given statement has
such
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 which surpass the demerits. In regards to the pros, locally grown
food
 has many benefits to the
environment
 and economy.
Firstly
, it can reduce
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
This
 is because imported
food
transported
Add a missing verb
is transported
show examples
 through various ways of transportation like by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
means of ships, trains,
aeroplane
Fix the agreement mistake
aeroplanes
show examples
 etc. Which produce toxic fumes that cause pollution. If
one
purchase
Correct subject-verb agreement
purchases
show examples
food
 which is grown by local farmers
have
Wrong verb form
it has
show examples
cheaper
Add an article
a cheaper
show examples
 price than imported
one
 as transport expenses
eliminated
Add a missing verb
are eliminated
show examples
. Another plus is that, it
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
 more job opportunities for the local
people
 in
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
food
 and selling it to customers.
Moreover
,
one
 can enjoy the fresh fruits and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 which directly come to local markets from
farm
Add an article
the farm
show examples
.
As a result
,
this
 can boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local economic growth and reduce
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
show examples
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
However
, demerits can not be unseen, if
food
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not imported
then
one
 can not enjoy all
fruits
Correct article usage
the fruits
show examples
 and vegetables which grown around the globe.
In addition
, some places where vegetables and
fruite
Correct your spelling
fruit
fruits
are not produce
Change the verb form
are not produced
are not producing
show examples
due to
 their geographical and climate reason.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 some place
food
 requirement is much more than locally produced crops because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 population
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 import of
food
 become
requisite
Correct article usage
a requisite
show examples
.
To sum up
, eating locally produced
food
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 both pros and cons.
According to
 me,
import
Correct article usage
the import
show examples
 and export
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
food
 should be done but only for needy
people
.
However
,
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and economy
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
muvh
Correct your spelling
much
 more
import
Replace the word
important
show examples
 than eating
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of fruits and vegetables.
Thus
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 of
this
 idea outweigh the demerits.
Submitted by vivekchovatiya8 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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