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Band 4

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
Many people believe that the budget
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the Insitution
show examples
Insitution
Correct your spelling
institution
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more than
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
computers
while
 other individuals believe
to spend
Change preposition
that spending
show examples
 more
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the instructor.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
this
 kind of
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
show examples
 nowadays is
contraversy
Correct your spelling
controversy
. In my opinion,
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should
show examples
 be
equal
Add an article
an equal
the equal
show examples
 budget for
computers
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to learn more.
Overall
, the following essay shall discuss
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of views.
To begin
 with, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 should need more
computers
 because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our generation today is more on technology all over the world.
Moreover
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
computers
 and it is part
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 tuition fee.
For example
, if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
the shortage
show examples
 of
computers
 in every academy the students will not properly
learning
Change the verb form
learn
be learning
show examples
 about
computers
subject
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the education industry,
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
 teachers
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pupils to learn.
In addition
, without
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
mentor
Add a comma
mentor,
show examples
 the aspirant can not learn
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lesson and
understnd
Correct your spelling
understand
 what their studying.
Moreover
, the
department
Capitalize word
Department
show examples
 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
ned
Correct your spelling
need
show examples
 to give more
impotance
Correct your spelling
importance
 to the teacher so that they will not
chnaged
Correct your spelling
change
changed
 their profession to other jobs.
For example
, the parents of the children
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 busy
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 work so they
lying
Wrong verb form
lie
show examples
 to the teachers. In my opinion, the government will budget equally
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
for the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
 of
edcuation
Correct your spelling
education
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
computers
 that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student to learn more
as well as
 the teachers who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the one who
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 the students to learn more.
Overall
, both views can give the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 to the
Instituion
Correct your spelling
institution
.
Submitted by kimberlygumban on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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