IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below present information about electricity generated using renewable energy and non-renewable energy in the United States in 2009 and 2019.

The charts below present information about electricity generated using renewable energy and non-renewable energy in the United States in 2009 and 2019.
#information #electricity #energy #non-renewable #states
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The given bar graph
delienates
Correct your spelling
delineates
 the information related to the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generated with the help of renewable and non-renewable sources in the United States during the period of 2009 and 2019. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that in 2009, most of the
electricity
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 generated by coal,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, during 2019, natural gases
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 used for the
producion
Correct your spelling
production
 of
electricity
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. In 2009, the least material used for the formation of
electricity
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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petroleum, which
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounted
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 for 57
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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.
This
Linking Words
 value is the highest for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal, which is 1756
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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. After a decade,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of petroleum declined to 40
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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, and
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 statistics
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal usage, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased to 966
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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.
While
Linking Words
 using renewable resources, 437
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 used in 2009,
while
Linking Words
 it
get
Verb problem
is
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 inclined for 2019, which is 720
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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. When using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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renewable resources,
hydorelectric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
 resources
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 the highest used resource for 2009, which is in parallel to 2019, accounting for 273
billion
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kilowatt-hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
during
Change preposition
in
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 2019, the highest used resource is wind,
values
Wrong verb form
valued
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for
Change preposition
at
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 300
billion
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kilowatt-hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, billion, kilowatt-hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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