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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The shopping habits of people depend more on their age group than on any other factors. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#habits #people #age #group #factors
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There is no doubt, that shopping is the most common
habit
 that almost all people do, in order to bring joy to our daily routine.
Nevertheless
, the question is
shopping
Correct word choice
whether shopping
show examples
 habits occur because of their age group or any other
factors
. In my personal opinion, I disagree.
Due to
 the fact that age is the
last
 reason for
this
habit
, and there are tremendous
factors
 to
this
habit
.
For example
,
internent
Correct your spelling
internet
 influencers that absolutely more effective. On the one hand, shopping habits could be produced by parents which makes that
habit
 more like a lifestyle.
For example
, a mother who takes her child every
time
 she goes to the mall.
Therefore
, the child will be more curious in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to fashion and anything related to shopping and spending money.
On the other hand
, it could
also
 be because of the age, for both young and old ages.
However
,
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 Ages were not involved in
this
 because they fact that there most likely busy all the
time
.
For instance
, teenagers as we know have the most free
time
 when we speak about their lives,
Moreover
, older people have a lot of free
time
 that can be used
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping. In conclusion, there are many
factors
 that may happen for so many reasons.
Nevertheless
, shopping habits depend on a huge number of
factors
 and they all depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personality more than anything else like
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more structured manner. Consider using paragraphs to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Add a concluding paragraph to summarize your main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and improve your sentence structure.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar errors.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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