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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The shopping habits of people depend more on their age group than on any other factors. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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There is no doubt, that shopping is the most common
habit
Use synonyms
 that almost all people do, in order to bring joy to our daily routine.
Nevertheless
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, the question is
shopping
Correct word choice
whether shopping
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 habits occur because of their age group or any other
factors
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. In my personal opinion, I disagree.
Due to
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 the fact that age is the
last
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 reason for
this
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habit
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, and there are tremendous
factors
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 to
this
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habit
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.
For example
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,
internent
Correct your spelling
internet
 influencers that absolutely more effective. On the one hand, shopping habits could be produced by parents which makes that
habit
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 more like a lifestyle.
For example
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, a mother who takes her child every
time
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 she goes to the mall.
Therefore
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, the child will be more curious in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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 to fashion and anything related to shopping and spending money.
On the other hand
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, it could
also
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 be because of the age, for both young and old ages.
However
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,
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
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 Ages were not involved in
this
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 because they fact that there most likely busy all the
time
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.
For instance
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, teenagers as we know have the most free
time
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 when we speak about their lives,
Moreover
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, older people have a lot of free
time
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 that can be used
on
Change preposition
for
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 shopping. In conclusion, there are many
factors
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 that may happen for so many reasons.
Nevertheless
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, shopping habits depend on a huge number of
factors
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 and they all depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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personality more than anything else like
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more structured manner. Consider using paragraphs to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Add a concluding paragraph to summarize your main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and improve your sentence structure.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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