IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.

The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.
#uk #acid #rain #emissions #millions #tonnes #four #sectors
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The line graph compares
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how many million tonnes of acid rain
emissions
Use synonyms
 are produced by different categories during a 17-year period in the UK.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
overall
Linking Words
 amount of
emissions
Use synonyms
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased mostly because of the fall in
emissions
Use synonyms
 from electricity, gas, water supply, and other industries,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 amount for two other
secters
Correct your spelling
sectors
 approximately
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remain
remains
 fixed. In 1990, almost 3.5 million of acid rain
emissions
Use synonyms
 came from the group
contained
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
 electricity, gas and water supply,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 amount was just over 2m from other industries and around 0.7m from transportation, communication, and domestic. Over the next 10 years, the figures for two highly acid rain producers fell steadily to under 1.5 million tonnes,
while
Linking Words
 we saw some unconsiderable charges in the lines for two other sectors,
Correct pronoun usage
which remaied
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remaied
Correct your spelling
remained
 under 1m.
This
Linking Words
 pattern continued leading to only around 1m tonnes
emissuins
Change preposition
of emissuins
show examples
 from transport and other industries.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words emissions, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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