When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

‏It’s argued that developing public

activities

such

as parks and

sports

arenas is more important than developing shopping malls, I totally agree with

this

, In

this

essay I will examine the reasons that support my opinion ‏

Firstly

, outdoor places

such

as parks and

sports

complex

Fix the agreement mistake

complexes

show examples

are more essential and important,

Moreover

,outdoor public parks and

sports

have many opportunities that people gain from like running, walking and socializing with others, doing

sports

activities

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

many benefits for both physical and mental health,

for instance

, children going out with their parents on a picnic at the park and having a quality time together at an outdoor place

this

will benefit them mentally and physically.

Secondly

, shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

aren’t necessary as public

activities

, it’s just a waste of money when it comes to shopping trends that teenagers follow

due to

marketing strategies and

as a result

there will be

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of important

activities

because people will spend their whole time shopping,

For example

, teenagers nowadays spend their time and money just to follow the trend.

Finally

, I opine to develop outdoor

activities

rather than shopping malls. Obviously,it has useful effects

Change preposition

show examples

human life

Submitted by noor23.hamza23 on Thu Oct 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people tend to buy products or get services instantly, without waiting. Why is it happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

in some countries,more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exersice classses what are the reasons for this? is this a positive or negative development?

Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?