It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Nowadays, crucial for individuals to gamble, at the same season in their provisionary lifestyles and their private lives.

This

essay will prove to argue that the pons of making changes outweigh the drawbacks. The main reason to start, society take a risk for raising knowledge and building robust connection.

Furthermore

, it is approaching the high value of the things or the person, which will take a lot of effort and

time

Its

Correct your spelling

show examples

means that, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people must be able to do professional one's things,

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

meant

Wrong verb form

means

show examples

they take

time

and spend money

for

Change preposition

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capture some courses.

For example

, the awardee scholarship obtains

time

, and

leave

Correct subject-verb agreement

leaves

show examples

their family

for

Change preposition

show examples

spend

time

Change preposition

in previous

show examples

months to study abroad to become

expect

Change the form of the verb

expected

show examples

Thus

, Individuals should venture to increase the quality of their branding personality. Those opposed say that it causes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

risky materials and take

time

for

citizen

Add an article

a citizen

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to become professional.

Moreover

, there is actually capture to receive the goals of life,

besides

it unrelated impoverished person but different if has robust vigorous.

However

, if people spend much space for study or focusing on something ,

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

meant to relate to spending money, which those parts have

connecting

Change the verb form

connected

show examples

For instance

, Student has been spending since 6 years old from elementary school to senior high school for studying.

Therefore

, materials and

time

had impacted for individuals risk in life. In conclusion, people should craft changes for their life can be advantageous if it highest

Change preposition

apply

show examples

quality of the person,

however

, they should take a lot of space and money.

Submitted by musa.nuwa on Thu Oct 26 2023

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task response

The essay needs to address the prompt more directly and provide a clear stance on the issue. The response is not fully developed.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. The ideas and examples are presented in a disjointed manner. It would benefit from better organization and more cohesive linking of ideas.

lexical resource

The lexical resource shows some range, but there are also several inaccuracies and awkward word choices that hinder overall clarity and fluency. Aim for more precise and appropriate vocabulary.

grammatical range

The grammatical range is quite limited, with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word forms. Work on improving sentence variety and accuracy in grammar.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

255 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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