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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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In
this
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 day and age, it is argued by some that keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 is unethical
while
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 others think that
zoos
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 can serve as places to entertain
people
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 and protect
animals
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.
Although
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 the former view may be true to a certain extent, I personally believe that
zoos
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 may have benefits in terms of providing entertainment for
people
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 and protection for
animals
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. On the one hand, there are certain reasons why keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 is wrong. The first reason is that the
animals
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 which are kept in
zoos
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 may not be able to adapt to living in captivity.
This
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 is mainly because living in a small place will make them get stressed and feel imprisoned.
Also
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, the
animals
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 which are kept in
zoos
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 will lose their survival instinct. The second reason is that animal exploitation can occur in
zoos
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.
Therefore
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, there may be many negative effects on
animals
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’ health.
For instance
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, in many
zoos
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, zoo owners serve their tourists by making elephants or ostriches carry tourists on their backs.
As a consequence
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, many elephants and ostriches in
zoos
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 have scoliosis.
On the other hand
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, it is my firm belief that
zoos
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 are both entertaining and ecologically significant.
To begin
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 with, there may be many species of
animals
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 in
zoos
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, so
people
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 can discover new
animals
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.
As a result
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, visiting
animals
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 in
zoos
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 can improve visitors’ knowledge about
animals
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 and help them relax after study or work.
For example
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, kindergartens or primary schools usually organize many trips to visit
zoos
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 in experiential activities.
Moreover
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, rare
animals
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 can be conserved in
zoos
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. The main reason is that
zoos
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 are safe places for
animals
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 because there are no predators or hunters that find them to kill them. To illustrate
this
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 point, in China, pandas are going to be extinct so they are taken to
zoos
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 to be looked after. In conclusion,
while
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 keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 can have some demerits regarding
animals
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 not being able to adapt to living in the zoo and being exploited, I am firmly convinced that the merits in terms of
people
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 being able to discover
animals
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 and rare
animals
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 being conserved are weightier.

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is well connected to the preceding and following paragraphs.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more precise and sophisticated language.
grammatical range
Use a wider range of complex grammatical structures and sentence patterns.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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