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Band 4.5

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #computers #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspaper #disagree？
Knowledge sharing has
allways
Correct your spelling
always
 been a prime concern of people on the planet since
time
 immemorial. Some argue that people
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mostly
depending
Wrong verb form
depend on
show examples
 electric media rather than traditional. So printing books and magazines are useless. I mostly agree with the
stament
Correct your spelling
statement
. There are enormous causative factors
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion and those are explained
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, people are getting more comfortable with modern methods. It has
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of advantages.
Firstly
, we are able to use it without
time
Correct article usage
a time
show examples
 barrier. If a person
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 about a book or news, he or she can access the data with his fone at the moment.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 we can read the books at the place where we sit. If we are on a travel, we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need to carry a book with us. It helps us to reduce our luggage.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 had taken a book with me on my travels.
Some times
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Sometimes
show examples
 I forgot to
took
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take
show examples
 it with me so I couldn't read.
Secondly
, the writers can find more readers through the internet
publishings
Fix the agreement mistake
publishing
show examples
 and they can earn more money. Because it is
comparitively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 cheaper than other. So individuals are getting more attracted
with
Change preposition
to
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 reading.
In addition
 it
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
 good for nature. On the other
had
Correct your spelling
hand
show examples
, printings have some advantages. To commence with
reading
Add an article
a reading
the reading
show examples
 habit, nowadays reading habit is getting low
amoung
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among
 youngsters. Books are very good
to develop
Change preposition
for developing
show examples
 reading
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. Computer and mobile displays are not good for health, especially eyes. If a person
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 more
time
 on those things, it would damage
there
Replace the word
their
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 eyes. To
sumup
Correct your spelling
sum up
,
although
 modern methods of
publishings
Fix the agreement mistake
publishing
show examples
 have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of advantages, some
desadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 we can save our
time
 and money
while
 we use modern technology.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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