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Band 3.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
It is widely believed that investing funds in
public
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the public
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 sector is more necessary than spending it on art projects.
This
 essay will put forward both views and I firmly agree that expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
 art is equally important.
To begin
 with,
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
 of music and theatre goes way back in past. If the government does not indulge in
such
 expenses
then
 many tales may go untold and get lost from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Only by promoting them, the young generations will be more aware
their
Change preposition
of their
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 cultural heritage through these art forms.
Furthermore
, it
also
 enhances creativity among youth and
stimulate
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stimulates
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 their minds towards
For example
, museum and heritage exploration trips organized by
school
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the school
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intrigues
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intrigue
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 a young budding mind to explore
deeper
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apply
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into variety of artistic activities.
In
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On
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contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, it is well known that the importance of public services is encouraged.
Impoving
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Improving
 the quality of life by providing additional roads and means
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of transporatation
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transporatation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is of uttermost importance. Services like
healthcare
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the healthcare
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 sector, where allocating more hospital beds will improve
overall
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the overall
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 value of a country which will
further
 boost the nation.
For instance
,
developping
Correct your spelling
developing
 countries focus on aiding the general population . In conclusion, the attention given to theatrical arts will not only improve social cohesion and raise
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth but
also
 create future musicians, actors and artists which will only benefit the country in return.
Submitted by hafsah.fa22 on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your stance on the topic (agree or disagree) and provides an outline of the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a specific point.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using more varied and precise terms when expressing your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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