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These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #video #games #parents
In
this
 advanced technological era, human beings are fully dependent on machines whether work-related
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
studying or playing
games
. It is seen that
children
 specifically are heavily engaged in playing video
games
 on their phones
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tablets or computers for a long period of
time
.
Consequently
,
parents
 of
this
 generation are very concerned about their
children
's
health
 and
future
. In my opinion, spending a heavy amount of
time
 playing video
games
 will not bring fruitful results for them considering their
health
 and
future
 aspects of life. In
this
 modern era, acquiring a mobile phone is a nimble option for
this
 generation. As
children
 are very dependent on gadgets for their education
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 as well, it has become a challenge for
parents
 to keep their
children
 away from engaging in mobile phones.
Hence
, the repercussions are huge in terms of
health
.
Children
 nowadays always stay at home chatting on their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 with unknown people.
As a consequence
, they don't physically communicate with people and don't go out to play any
sports
 or learn some extracurricular
activities
 etc. They are much more prone to live a sedentary lifestyle.
Furthermore
, engaging in gadgets all the
time
 is making them isolated as a person. Obesity, fatigue etc. has become a common
health
 issue among today's
children
.
Parents
 are very concerned about
such
health
 problems.
This
 is a humongous roadblock towards the well-being of
children
 and
future
 generations. As a suggestion,
Parents
 should monitor their young ones' habits on a daily basis and put a limit on mobile usage. Governments
also
 should take part and introduce more
sports
 classes and extracurricular
activities
 to the education system .
Parents
also
 should encourage their kids to move out of their comfort zone and learn different types of
sports
games
 like badminton, tennis, cricket football etc.
Consequently
,
this
 movement will bring positive results in the long run and create a well-rounded , vibrant society. It is wise
to conclude
 that playing video
games
 all the
time
 is harmful to
children
.
Parents
 should monitor their kids'
activities
 on a daily basis to incur positive results
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
children
's lives. The government must take action to reduce mobile usage as little as possible. The educational system must bring a coherent way to introduce social
activities
,
sports
games
 etc. to the
children
 and engage them heavily in
such
activities
 to create
prosperous
Correct article usage
a prosperous
show examples
future
 generation.
Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on

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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range and accuracy
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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