IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2006

#picture #energy
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph depicts the
percentage
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 of the total
energy
Use synonyms
 in six countries from 1971 to 2006. A cursory glance at the graph is enough to make it clear that Finland was the leader in the
use
Use synonyms
 of alternative
resources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 the United Kingdom used these
resources
Use synonyms
 the least throughout the given period of 35 years. Finland used almost a quarter of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1971.
This
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 fell to just over 15% by the late 1980s
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but picked up again and reached its starting level by 2006 despite some fluctuations throughout. Denmark ranked
second,
Linking Words
among the given six countries, in the
use
Use synonyms
 of renewable sources. The usage of
such
Linking Words
resources
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 country fluctuated between 10% and 15%. 8% of renewable
resources
Use synonyms
 made up for the total
energy
Use synonyms
 used in France in 1971. Despite some fluctuations throughout, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 grew slightly and reached about 11% by 2006. Germany started at 5%
use
Use synonyms
 of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1976.
A moderate
Remove the article
Moderate
show examples
 growth was seen and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 became 10% approximately by 2006. In the UK, the
use
Use synonyms
 of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 escalated from 1% in 1971 to
near about
Verb problem
nearly
show examples
 5% by 2006.
Submitted by havy190906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Expand on the analysis of the data and provide more specific examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present in the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay.
grammatical range
Make sure to vary sentence structures and use more complex grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: