IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have recently moved to a different city for work, but you want to maintain contact with a friend from your previous workplace. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • Describe the city you moved to • Tell him/her about your new job • Invite him/her to visit you

#city #work #contact #friend #workplace #job #visit
Hello Partap, Hope you’re doing well! It’s been a few months since
I’ve
Unnecessary verb
I
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 moved to a new city after leaving the office where
I’ve
 enjoyed your accompany as a best coworker. The City where
I’ve
 relocated is Amritsar and it’s well known for its religious
histroy
Correct your spelling
history
 and delicious street food. My new job is with an architecture firm which designs residential and religious buildings. The best part of
mys
Correct your spelling
my
 work is going out and doing a lot of surveys of heritage buildings to start their restoration work. As you might be aware
of
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apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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I’m really into heritage preservation thing, I’m enjoying every moment of my office hours. To be honest, I think you should really visit Amritsar to try out some
punjabi
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Punjabi
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 cousins and there are
couple
Add an article
a couple
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 of places that, I’m sure, you’ll love them. Even though my current home is far from those places,
I’ve
 already bought a new car on which we can go anywhere in no time.
Lastly
, you don’t need to worry about accommodation, you can stay with me. So, what’s your thought on
this
? Your friend, Harpal Singh
Submitted by harpal.singh on

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide more specific details about the city, such as its population, attractions, and unique features.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more formal language and structure for the greeting and closing. For example, instead of 'Hope you're doing well', you can use 'I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits.'
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more engaging. Instead of 'well known', try using 'renowned' or 'famous'.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is good, but be careful with punctuation. Make sure to use commas and full stops correctly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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