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Band 3

The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

#plans #show #student #accommodation #buildings
The given floor plans
delineates
Change the verb form
delineate
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 the information regarding the change in the architecture of
building
Correct article usage
the building
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 used for
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 for the students in 2010 and in recent years. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the number of
student-bedrooms
Correct your spelling
student bedrooms
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 has been increased and some new areas
were
Wrong verb form
have been
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 opened. In 2010, the main entrance leads to the hallway and on the left of an entry
gate
Add a comma
gate,
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 a
student-
Correct your spelling
student bedroom
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bedroom
 was present attached to the bathroom.
Further
 down the hallway, another
bedroom
 is present adjacent to the kitchen. On the backside of the bathroom, a living room was present. Between the living room and
kitchen
Add a comma
kitchen,
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 another
bedroom
 was present at the corner on
right
Add an article
the right
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 side. Garden surrounded most of the area at that period of time. In recent years, it has been changed, the garden present in the front of the building has been changed to car parking. The living room is converted to another
students
Change noun form
student's
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bedroom
, which is adjacent to the
bedroom
 which was newly built. In front of
main
Add an article
the main
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 entrance, a small en-suite is present
that is
 interlinked to
student-
Correct article usage
a student-bedroom
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bedroom
.
Garden
Add an article
The garden
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 is only present at the back of the building.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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The organization and structure of your essay is logical and coherent. However, consider using more cohesive devices (e.g. transition words and phrases) to improve the flow of your ideas.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some errors and awkward sentences. Proofread your essay carefully to eliminate these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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