Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

#role #people #lives #trend

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Working is

integral

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an integral

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part of people's

lives

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. They always try to get a good job and

work

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for years.

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

topic in both opinions. First of all, it is known that working takes part an important role in our

lives

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. even we choose and decide what will be our dream job from childhood. it takes several steps like

begin

Verb problem

going

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schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

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then

Linking Words

university and

finally

Linking Words

graduation and

work

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will be waiting for us. we

work

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because we want to gain experience and earn money. Both men and women try to get the best offer for their job. when they

work

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they can get what they want.

for example

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

result

Add an article

the result

a result

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of working they can purchase different

metrials

Correct your spelling

materials

material

thing

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things

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which can make their life much better. like

car

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cars

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house

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houses

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, clothes and several things like

this

Linking Words

besides

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

, people sometimes

work

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so much and it affects their

lives

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on negative sides. even though they get

high

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a high

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salary

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can not spend time with their families.

Linking Words

Capitalize word

show examples

a result

first

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they become exhausted and unhappy as well. we all know that

to be

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being

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rich does not make

everyon

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everyone

thrilled.

for example

Linking Words

, some families get divorced because of

men's

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men

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working long hours. they claim that we can not spend time together and it

makes

Verb problem

creates

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a lack of commitment between couples. in conclusion, we know working is

main

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the main

a main

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part of our

lives

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. in my opinion, if people make

balance

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a balance

the balance

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between

work

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and private life, it will make them on nine clouds.

Submitted by arzu.shahbazova1 on Fri Oct 27 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas and arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure in your essay. The flow of ideas should be smooth and organized.

lexical resource

Expand your use of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Aim for more complex sentence structures and avoid errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

Your opinion

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.