IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the current world, most of the hospitals have very expensive medical treatments. It is believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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such
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 services should be free of cost all over the world despite high-rated modern medical technology is not offered.
This
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 essay will discuss why having
such
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 free treatment is essential from the
citizens
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citizen's
citizens'
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 perspective. The first reason would be
increase
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an increase
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 in its availability to less-income
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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. To give an example, most of
poor
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the poor
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 class family not able to treat their small diseases because of high cost.
As a result
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,
such
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 diseases take a dangerous form and
making
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make
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 it almost impossible to
cured
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cure
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.
Furthermore
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, it is proven that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
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 do not have their health insurance.
Thus
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,
people
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sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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gets
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get
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 bankrupt
while
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 paying the huge bill from the hospital.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
such
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 approaches from
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government
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the government
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 will encourage its citizen to pay their taxes.
For instance
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,
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government
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the government
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 could use
this
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 tax income to pay the medical system to provide
such
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no cost
Add a hyphen
no-cost
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 services.
As a result
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, healthy
people
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 will
be
Verb problem
contribute
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 more often contributing its
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and
Correct article usage
the country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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 economy.
Moreover
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,
this
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 will bring equality in society where poor class
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 will be treated as same as upper class
family
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families
show examples
.
As a result
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,
gap
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the gap
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 between poorer and richer will be reduced. To summarise, providing free access to
health
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the health
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 system is
step
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a step
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 in the right direction and very essential for the
overall
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 growth of
country
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the country
a country
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. As
,
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apply
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such
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step
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steps
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 from the
government
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 will ensure universal health system access to its
people
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 and ensure social equality is maintained in the medical world.

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear conclusion.
supported main points
Consider providing more examples and evidence to support your points.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more sophisticated terms to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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