IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph shows information about the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,Malaysia,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 between 1970 and 2020,with predictions for 2030 and 2040. In 1970,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 at about 32%,
while
Linking Words
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 had the lowest figure at only about 15%. Malaysia had an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 for 5 decades a figure from 30% in 1970 to 75% in 2020,
then
Linking Words
 it will increase to 85% in 2040. There was a point of intersection in 1990 for the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Malaysia.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 , it will
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 50% in 2040. There was an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 and it will rise until the end where 60%. The same
trend
Use synonyms
 in
Thailand
Use synonyms
 ,the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
Thailand
Use synonyms
 will grow
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 about 45% in 2040. In 2000 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 surpassed
Thailand
Use synonyms
 at about 26% after a decade it surpassed
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 at about 40%. In general, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 in four Asian countries living in
cities
Use synonyms
 all have an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 and in 2040
Philippines
Use synonyms
 will be the highest,and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 will be the lowest.
Submitted by 1291468663 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, population, philippines, thailand, indonesia, cities, trend with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
What to do next:
Look at other essays: