you are living in adeveloping country and people moving to developed country. local government conducting a survey. option A - rich countries are stealing people from poor countries option B - this is a part of natural movement of professionals around the world.

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I would prefer that it is a part of

natural

Add an article

the natural

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movement of professionals around the world because they could live a better

life

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western

Capitalize word

Western

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countries

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. Let me explain the two main reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would say that they have better career opportunities in developed

countries

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In other words

Linking Words

, people are looking to have

Correct article usage

apply

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professional growth with

high

Correct article usage

a high

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salary considering their skills and knowledge, which they are investing

throughout

Change preposition

in throughout

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their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. Opportunities for

such

Linking Words

aspects are limited in developing

countries

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For example

Linking Words

, in Canada, the number of immigrants from various developing

countries

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are keep

Change the verb form

keeps

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increasing consistently.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I believe the quality of

life

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is another reason for the movement to foreign

countries

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This

Linking Words

is to say that, they could lead a high standard

life

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with benefits like free healthcare, free schooling, etc.

This

Linking Words

might induce them

for

Change preposition

apply

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the

movement

Replace the word

move

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to different

countries

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, developing

countries

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like India might lose the opportunity to retain skilled professionals.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my opinion,

although

Linking Words

there is a significant impact on those

countries

Use synonyms

, the government must take measures to prevent

this

Linking Words

Such

Linking Words

movements have been happening consistently even

before

Change preposition

for

show examples

centuries, so I agree it is a part of a natural migration.

jeeanayFri Oct 27 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using appropriate transition words and phrases.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and precise.

grammatical range

Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar by reviewing common errors and practicing regularly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

198 words

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you are living in adeveloping country and people moving to developed country. local government conducting a survey. option A - rich countries are stealing people from poor countries option B - this is a part of natural movement of professionals around the world.

Your opinion

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the resposibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people believe that one-on-one lessons are better for learning while others think that group lessons are superior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think competitive sport is important for a child’s education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.