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Band 4

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation
Nowadays in several countries youth become tend to participate in
work
-based
courses
instead
 of taking tertiary education.I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that the disadvantages here far
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 any potential benefits. One upside of
work
-based
courses
 is finding a job in
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
 term.Today,more and more people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suddenly need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
,
due to
 their personal
sitiuations
Correct your spelling
situations
situation
 or just because of laziness.Vocational training provides
quickly
Change the word
quick
show examples
 learning and receiving training in the workplace ,
instead
 of a classroom.That helps individuals to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their knowledge in practice more.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 these days there are numerous quantity of
couches
Correct your spelling
courses
show examples
 that impart
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their authorial
courses
 and in
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
 market most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Social Media Managing workers
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
apprenticeship
Fix the agreement mistake
apprenticeships
show examples
.Under
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 circumstances ,people who want to save their time to
work
as well as
 professionals should purchase
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
courses
. On the negative side,graduates
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have studied
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will be more professional in different conditions than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 studied
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 doing the
work
.Because they were
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
 by tutors with
academic
Add an article
the academic
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 of knowledge and learned important
imformatoins
Correct your spelling
information
 that they need to
work
 in the best place .For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, doctors that have high education
diffenetly
Correct your spelling
differently
 used to find differences
beetwen
Correct your spelling
between
 any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of bones and know their structure,at the same time individuals who attend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
courses
 will show that their wisdom is worse in several areas . It evidences that people should choose to be tough in high educational institutions. In conclusion,
although
 on-the-job training maintains the greatest practice and fast learning ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
this
 advantage is significantly outweighed by the disadvantage that purchasing
courses
 do not
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 us the best materials.
Submitted by ielts8bandplus on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the prompt and provide a balanced analysis of the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, with a proper introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of academic words and phrases to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structures and grammar usage for more clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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