In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?
Childhood obesity remains one of the biggest problems to tackle in the modern world.
This
essay will discuss the possible reasons for the matter as well as
propose solutions and actions that can be taken by individuals as well as
government
to tackle the issue.
Correct article usage
the government
Besides
the genetic and hormonal factors, a lot of obesity is caused by the passive lifestyle
that young people have. Since the amount of calories eaten are
not burned through Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
physical activity, a lot of Correct article usage
apply
children
become obese. Having a passive lifestyle
with little or no activity makes the situation even worse. Another factor supporting the issue is the quality of school food offered. In many countries, it is mostly deep-fried and does not contain a big variety of nutrients. These two factors are the main ones causing the problem.
There are multiple actions that can be taken to have more healthy children
. First of all, government
should help schools to serve high-quality meals on a daily basis to teach kids how to eat more healthily. Add an article
the government
Moreover
, the
awareness should be increased by organizing, Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, seminars for parents with obese children
to motivate them to cook nutritious meals at home and limit their offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
of
eating Change preposition
from
fast-food
. The main goal is to change the passive Correct your spelling
fast food
lifestyle
into an active one. The government, could, perhaps, develop the infrastructure of the cities by building roads for bicycles and playgrounds or sport
fields for people. Change the noun form
sports
This
would encourage children
to spent
more time outside and create the opportunity to ride a bicycle to school.
Change the form of the verb
spend
To conclude
, there are two main things causing the obesity among children
. Those are the passive lifestyle
and the diet eaten at schools
. To tackle the big problem, several measures should be taken into action. School meals should be made healthier and the infrastructure of the cities should encourage Fix the agreement mistake
school
children
to move more often.Submitted by katja.otavina on
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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a clear and coherent manner. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to include a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and accuracy to avoid grammatical errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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