There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The academic curriculum of educational institutions tends the
students
to remain engaged with the preparation of upcoming examinations. Some educationalist advocates for excluding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extracurricular subjects like physical education and cookery from their syllabus so that youngsters can consume their time for academic
activities
efficiently.
However
, the strategy seems unreasonable to me as it will deprive the
students
of achieving multitasking skills and make the academic journey monotonous. The essay aims to discuss the concerned issues elaborately. The primary rationale for not agreeing with the proposed strategy is that it would withdraw the
students
from the journey of doing several types of
activities
in their theoretical lives. In the contemporary world, it is very necessary for the younger generations to have the ability to design their professional life with diversified
activities
. It will eventually help them to impress their superiors with multitasking features and they need not depend on one particular job.
For example
, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs the owner of big technological giants are known to all for their non-academic performances rather than academic results.
Moreover
, the absence of non-major
courses
would make the academic years of the
students
monotonous and boring. They may lose interest in studying technical subjects if there are not arrangements
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
entertainment opportunities and
courses
with some physical
activities
can fill up the gaps.
Activities
which involve the functions of intelligence can boost their future professional opportunities. To take
for instance
, law graduates who are engaged in various extracurricular
activities
like debating and mooting can prosper in their advocacy life than those who merely spend their time with academic studies. To summarize, it can be logical to state that, the advantageous aspects of inclusion of some nontechnical
courses
along with
technical
courses
can be more on the
students
, It seems more reasonable to assert that,
students
should allocate their time efficiently between pursuits relating to curricular and extra cocurricular
activities
.
Submitted by a.m.rahat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar usage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: