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Band 4

Due to the advances in science, it is now possible for people to live 100 old or even longer. While some people think it is a good thing, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#advances #science #people
It is indeed true that day by day modern
scients
Correct your spelling
science
 play a vital role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 sector.It is possible to Individual for longer age to live but others believe it is
Add an article
a disadvantage
show examples
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
 for the
world
. In my opinion
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
65 to 75
years
 is good for a human to
alive
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
 in the
world
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 and elaborate my opinion. It is admittedly true that every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to live longer and they want never die but the true fact everyone will be die which is natural for every human. Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 believe that if a human
alive
Add a missing verb
is alive
show examples
100
Change preposition
for 100
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
that
is mean
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
 that
people
 can contribute a lot of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
world
such
 as a scientist,
univercity
Correct your spelling
university
 profesor (PHD
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
show examples
) so on.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a essential role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 us.
For example
, If
Albart
Correct your spelling
Albert
 Ainstine
to live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 longer
then
 maybe he can contribute more valuable
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 us. On the other side, Some individual
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that older
people
 are
Correct article usage
a durden
show examples
durden
Change the capitalization
Durden
show examples
 of society because they think
noone
Correct your spelling
no one
 company recruit old
citezen
Correct your spelling
citizens
.
As a result
,
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60 to 70
years
 later their life is difficult
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
servived
Correct your spelling
survive
.
For a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 successful example to the
world
 is
Correct article usage
the Japanies
show examples
Japanies
Correct your spelling
Japanese
people
. They live 80 to 100
years
 but
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 most of
Japanes
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 old
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
socide
Correct your spelling
suicide
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
after 80 or 90
years
 old because they are in
depration
Correct your spelling
depreciation
.
To sum up
,
people
 want to
servived
Correct your spelling
serve
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time but end of their age most of
Add an article
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 are in
depration
Correct your spelling
depression
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 if a human
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 too longer in the
world
at the end
 of
Correct pronoun usage
their live
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 they spend more hard time which
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them
depration
Correct your spelling
depreciation
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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