Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#deem #job #pleasure #society #contrast #thay

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my gap years that I want to learn more about Business and Management

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good experience now i am ready to explore my knowledge in

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to your future career path? - I considered that only

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assessed various types of

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Submitted by er.lerulal on Sat Oct 28 2023

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task response

Your essay does not fully address the prompt. You have discussed the relevance of the course to your future career path, but you have not discussed the two views on job pleasure and job stability.

coherence cohesion

Overall, your essay has a clear structure and logical progression. However, you could improve the organization by clearly stating the two views in your introduction and providing a clear opinion in the conclusion.

lexical resource

You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary and used appropriate terminology related to the topic. However, there is room for improvement in using more varied and precise vocabulary.

grammatical range

Your grammar is generally accurate and you have used a variety of sentence structures. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement and word order that could be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

157 words

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Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, women now are able to join the armed forces on equal basis with men. However, some people feel that only men should be members of the army, navy or Air Force. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

As technology develops, more shopping and business is done through the internet while communication face to face becomes less frequent. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?