Some people think parents shouldn’t encourage to do a part job to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
some citizens believe that family does not need to
prompt
Wrong verb form
be prompted
show examples
to do add
job
Use synonyms
, i disagree with
this
Linking Words
idea because if they try to do another
job
Use synonyms
they can earn more money for their future
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they dont loss their
time
Use synonyms
on social media
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
. some people
stragle alot
Correct your spelling
struggle a lot
to do another
job
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a graet
show examples
graet desicioun
Correct your spelling
great decision
to collect more money
Correct word choice
and aslo
show examples
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
expand their income if they have enough budget they should not worry
abour
Correct your spelling
about
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
or pension and they can enjoy
their
Change the word
the
show examples
new phases
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
their life ,
that is
Linking Words
why
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
ok if you do a part
job
Use synonyms
to have better live if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
give you
Add an article
an
show examples
example , my father when he was young he worked to two company at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
time
Use synonyms
and he could
bulit
Correct your spelling
built
his
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
whe
Correct your spelling
when
he was in the
younge
Correct your spelling
younger
age .know he
travel
Change the verb form
travels
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
that his friend can not do that . Despite
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that , parents when they
are do
Change the verb form
are doing
show examples
odd
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
open-mind than others
due to
Linking Words
they are crafting new things
whe
Correct your spelling
when
they
work
Use synonyms
,spending
time
Use synonyms
on
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
such
Linking Words
as doing some things
ealss
Correct your spelling
easy
when you have free
time
Use synonyms
is better than using
phone
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
or social media ,since if you
work
Use synonyms
you get to know
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
person
also
Linking Words
you can deal with disagreement ,
for instance
Linking Words
,recently
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
work
Use synonyms
as a full
time
Use synonyms
for
constraction
Correct your spelling
construction
company
however
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have own business ,ido that
work
Use synonyms
since
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
new information about marketing . in conclusion , we know that
work
Use synonyms
is a part of our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
to express who we are and what is out ability to
performance
Replace the word
perform
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
from
Capitalize word
From
show examples
my point of view doing extra
work
Use synonyms
is a fantastic way to have a good quality of life , and take advantage of the lesiour
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dler_shakar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: