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Band 4

Some people think parents shouldn’t encourage to do a part job to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #shouldn’t #part #job
some citizens believe that family does not need to
prompt
Wrong verb form
be prompted
show examples
 to do add
job
 , i disagree with
this
 idea because if they try to do another
job
 they can earn more money for their future
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they dont loss their
time
 on social media
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
. some people
stragle alot
Correct your spelling
struggle a lot
 to do another
job
 ,
that is
Correct article usage
a graet
show examples
graet desicioun
Correct your spelling
great decision
 to collect more money
Correct word choice
and aslo
show examples
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 expand their income if they have enough budget they should not worry
abour
Correct your spelling
about
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 or pension and they can enjoy
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 new phases
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their life ,
that is
 why
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 ok if you do a part
job
 to have better live if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 give you
Add an article
an
show examples
example , my father when he was young he worked to two company at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
time
 and he could
bulit
Correct your spelling
built
 his
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
whe
Correct your spelling
when
 he was in the
younge
Correct your spelling
younger
 age .know he
travel
Change the verb form
travels
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 that his friend can not do that . Despite
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that , parents when they
are do
Change the verb form
are doing
show examples
 odd
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 open-mind than others
due to
 they are crafting new things
whe
Correct your spelling
when
 they
work
,spending
time
 on
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
such
 as doing some things
ealss
Correct your spelling
easy
 when you have free
time
 is better than using
phone
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
 or social media ,since if you
work
 you get to know
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 person
also
 you can deal with disagreement ,
for instance
 ,recently
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
work
 as a full
time
 for
constraction
Correct your spelling
construction
 company
however
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have own business ,ido that
work
 since
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 new information about marketing . in conclusion , we know that
work
 is a part of our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 to express who we are and what is out ability to
performance
Replace the word
perform
show examples
work
.
from
Capitalize word
From
show examples
 my point of view doing extra
work
 is a fantastic way to have a good quality of life , and take advantage of the lesiour
time
 .
Submitted by dler_shakar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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