IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientific research should be the responsibility of government rather than commercial organisations. Do you agree?

#research #responsibility #government #organisations
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In the contemporary rapidly changing technological advancement, scientific
research
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facilities
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 play an important
role
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 in the technological
field
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. There is a contentious debate that scientific
research
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 has to be only the responsibility of a
Country
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's authority rather than that of private companies.
While
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 some people contend that it is only the responsibility of the
government
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 rather than private
organizations
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 to take the necessary steps for scientific
research
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, others think that commercial
organizations
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 should play a significant
role
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 in
this
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field
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.
This
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 essay will delve deeper into
this
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 context and provides a balanced approach of both parties
Such
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 as
government
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 and private organization, and present arguments and examples to Show a profound comprehensive analysis. On one hand, the
government
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 plays a vital
role
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 and should take on the responsibility of building the most advanced
research
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facilities
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.
Firstly
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, the
government
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 should allocate a significant portion of its budget to improve the infrastructure of scientific
research
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facilities
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. It is firmly acknowledged that without advanced amenities, there is no hope to gain advanced knowledge in science.
Secondly
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, the prime authority ought to hire renowned professors and encourage learners to work in the
research
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field
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. So , it is imperative to set up the most advanced scientific equipment for the
research
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field
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.
For instance
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, it will, in turn, lead to the gain of complex engineering knowledge with the help of famous instructors, enhance creativity, become more innovative, and contribute to bring
Country
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's technological development, and
overall
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 well-being.
Furthermore
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, the responsibilities in scientific
research
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 of commercial
organizations
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 have a plethora of disadvantages. First of all, they demand high charges of costs to give support in
this
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field
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 to academic researchers.
For
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this
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 reason, learners will be demotivated for
research
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.
Moreover
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, there is a high chance of stealing essential
research
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 information which leads to disappointing persons who get that information through hard work. There should be taken a balanced approach where both systems get benefits. The most prudent approach will be that the
government
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 should allocate a budget to build infrastructure
as well as
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 provide necessary support to private companies in the
research
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field
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 and control them to alleviate accidental situations
such
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 as stealing
research
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 data
,
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apply
show examples
 and selling valuable information about valuable
research
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 data on black-market. In conclusion, scientific
research
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 plays a key
role
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 in the development of a
country
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. So, the
government
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 should take initiatives to develop the
country
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's
research
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facilities
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 that facilitate highly advanced scientific equipment, and the opportunity to work with world-renowned professors.
In contrast
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, private
organizations
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 should
also
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 take part in that case. So , if authorities control private companies who are willing to contribute to the science
field
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, it will make the
research
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 industry way more meaningful to the
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overall
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apply
show examples
country
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's well-being .
Submitted by Abdul Asad on

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task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, however, the arguments and examples supporting each side could be more balanced and comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay has a clear logical structure. You have an introduction, body paragraphs with supporting arguments, and a conclusion. Well done!
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but you could make more use of academic vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
You demonstrate a good range of grammatical structures and your sentences are generally well-formed. However, there are a few instances where you have errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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