Nowaday parents put too much presure on their children to succed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or possitive development?

#nowaday #parents #presure #children #reason #possitive #development

Nowaday

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Nowadays

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many parents

presured

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pressured

pressure

on their youngth to be

succed

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succeed

in different aspects of their lives and they

hard working

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hard-working

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to achieve

this

. There

several

Add a missing verb

are several

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reasons

this

Change preposition

for this

show examples

trend and I believe it world affect negative in

youngth

Correct your spelling

young

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living to develop and growth up. In

this

, essay will discuss the reason and the negative

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

attitude. On the one hand, parents

to be

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are

show examples

obsessed with their

children

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children's

show examples

succed

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success

and they have more

resouces

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resources

to invest

for

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show examples

their

younth

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youth

young

. They always impact their

children

have to learn all of

skills

Add an article

the skills

show examples

to make them

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apply

show examples

successfull

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successful

successfully

and they believe that it will make them better.

In addition

, they put them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to art school, scram school or soft skill workshops.

Also

might help their

children

to be

succed

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successful

but

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show examples

think that it is

brag

Wrong verb form

bragging

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about their kids of parents.

Moreover

, It will cause

mentally exhausting

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mental exhaustion

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, fall into depression, anxiety, extreme

strees

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stress

and detrimental

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show examples

their health issue. The rate of adolescent mental health problems and suicide are increasing and they do not want human

avoid

Add the particle

to avoid

show examples

being scrutinized and berated.

On the other hand

Children

can learn more useful things in life, expand

knowledge

Correct pronoun usage

their knowledge

show examples

and

alo

Correct your spelling

also

they will easily

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

pass the exam.

And

Correct word choice

Also

show examples

also

they can

Add a missing verb

be successfull

show examples

successfull

Correct your spelling

successfully

successful

early and can

connected

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connect

be connected

show examples

to other people around the world and

created

Wrong verb form

create

show examples

more and more

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

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, connected

other

Change preposition

to other

show examples

cultural

Replace the word

cultures

show examples

For example

, they should

be learn

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learn

show examples

more skills and spend

time

Correct quantifier usage

more time

show examples

to studies than

to play

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playing

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

. It will

better

Add a missing verb

be better

show examples

than

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

studies. In conclusion, both of these

disccuss

Correct your spelling

discussions

are

alo

Correct your spelling

both

negative and positive development and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have harmful and

benefit

Change the verb form

benefits

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

children

. So I think we should invest more and more in

children

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

available but we can not put

presure

Correct your spelling

pressure

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Submitted by gipphi147 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address the prompt. Points are unclear and lack comprehensive development. Develop more clear and complete ideas related to the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic, use linking words to connect ideas, and provide a clear introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowaday parents put too much presure on their children to succed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or possitive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.

Some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museum, town hall, and sporting facility is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required?