Nowaday parents put too much presure on their children to succed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or possitive development?
Nowaday
many parents Correct your spelling
Nowadays
presured
on their youngth to be Correct your spelling
pressured
pressure
succed
in different aspects of their lives and they Correct your spelling
succeed
hard working
to achieve Add a hyphen
hard-working
this
. There several
reasons Add a missing verb
are several
this
trend and I believe it world affect negative in Change preposition
for this
youngth
living to develop and growth up. In Correct your spelling
young
this
, essay will discuss the reason and the negative this
attitude.
On the one hand, parents Correct determiner usage
apply
to be
obsessed with their Change the verb form
are
children
Change noun form
children's
succed
and they have more Correct your spelling
success
resouces
to invest Correct your spelling
resources
for
their Change preposition
in
younth
. They always impact their Correct your spelling
youth
young
children
have to learn all of skills
to make them Add an article
the skills
to
Change the verb form
apply
successfull
and they believe that it will make them better. Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
In addition
, they put them go
to art school, scram school or soft skill workshops. Verb problem
apply
Also
might help their children
to be succed
but Correct your spelling
successful
i
think that it is Change the capitalization
I
brag
about their kids of parents. Wrong verb form
bragging
Moreover
, It will cause mentally exhausting
, fall into depression, anxiety, extreme Replace the word
mental exhaustion
strees
and detrimental Correct your spelling
stress
on
their health issue. The rate of adolescent mental health problems and suicide are increasing and they do not want human Change preposition
to
avoid
being scrutinized and berated.
Add the particle
to avoid
On the other hand
, Children
can learn more useful things in life, expand knowledge
and Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
alo
they will easily Correct your spelling
also
to
pass the exam. Fix the infinitive
apply
And
Correct word choice
Also
also
they can Add a missing verb
be successfull
successfull
early and can Correct your spelling
successfully
successful
connected
to other people around the world and Change the verb form
connect
be connected
created
more and more Wrong verb form
create
relationship
, connected Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
other
Change preposition
to other
cultural
. Replace the word
cultures
For example
, they should be learn
more skills and spend Change the verb form
learn
time
to studies than Correct quantifier usage
more time
to play
Change the verb form
playing
game
. It will Fix the agreement mistake
games
better
than Add a missing verb
be better
less
studies.
In conclusion, both of these Change the quantifier
fewer
disccuss
are Correct your spelling
discussions
alo
negative and positive development and Correct your spelling
both
it
have harmful and Correct pronoun usage
they
benefit
on Change the verb form
benefits
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
. So I think we should invest more and more in children
is
available but we can not put Unnecessary verb
apply
presure
on Correct your spelling
pressure
their
.Correct pronoun usage
them
Submitted by gipphi147 on
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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt. Points are unclear and lack comprehensive development. Develop more clear and complete ideas related to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic, use linking words to connect ideas, and provide a clear introduction and conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example