Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree?

#students #families #areas #gat #university #education #people #universities #diasgree

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It is argued that universities should prepare financial aid to help disadvantaged

families

Use synonyms

who live in rural areas. I profoundly agree with

this

Linking Words

point of view, and I believe allocating a budget to those who have financial problems can help to demonstrate their abilities and,

besides

Linking Words

, the government discovers gifted talents for the advancement of the country.

Firstly

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

some students have intrinsic aptitude and creative acumen, they don't have an opportunity to follow through with their education. The unequal conditions lead to discrepancies between advantaged and disadvantaged

families

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

the talented students in better conditions can show their knowledge, and after university create a glamorous life.

However

Linking Words

, the government plays a pivotal role in mitigating inequality.

For example

Linking Words

, I see many young people after secondary education have to work at restaurants or be street vendors

while

Linking Words

some of them may be real geniuses.

Secondly

Linking Words

, if the universities pay financial aid to

families

Use synonyms

who are in unstable economic conditions, they will foster experts for the country.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a scholarship is not only a help, but it is

also

Linking Words

a saving and long-term investment for the future. There have been many gifted athletes and students who had natural aptitudes, and with financial aid, they are working as successful doctors or engineers. All in all, cultivating experts can be beneficial to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

success and achievement in the future. In conclusion, it may seem that paying money to disadvantaged

families

Use synonyms

is an insurmountable challenge;

however

Linking Words

, I believe

this

Linking Words

practice aids in discovering creative flairs and is an investment for the following years.

Submitted by matty.ebadii on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with clear topic sentences and supporting points. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further development and elaboration.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and effectively summarize the main arguments of the essay.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate and varied word choices. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be improved to enhance clarity.

grammatical range

Overall, the essay showcases a solid command of grammar, with minimal errors that do not impede understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disadvantaged families
rural areas
university education
scholarships
financial aid
allocate
seats
outreach programs
support services
succeed
collaborate
governmental organizations
opportunities
targeted policies
initiatives
challenges

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Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinion

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?