IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries family and friends who care for the elderly do not find time to look after them. What are the reasons and solutions?

In many parts of the world, most
people
Use synonyms
 find
problems looking
Wrong verb form
it difficult to look
show examples
 after their elders. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 various reasons behind
this
Linking Words
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 steps are needed to ensure that
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 find a way to care about their old family members. The reasons why some
people
Use synonyms
 neglect to look at elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays, everyone is busy and has a hectic schedule
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they have a job to do that
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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time
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. Due
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due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
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 they come late from the office,
in
Correct word choice
and in
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 that case, they do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to look after their elderly members.
Secondly
Linking Words
, children are their first priority to look after. To illustrate, many mothers have twins
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 few have triplets
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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, newborn babies need more
time
Use synonyms
 with their mothers because they need proper
time
Use synonyms
 and food.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are steps to overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
some
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
time
Use synonyms
masses
Check wording
parents
show examples
 should take work from home when their elderly parents need them
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
owning
Verb problem
doing
show examples
Linking Words
this
Rephrase
so this
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 they both get some quality
time
Use synonyms
 with each other.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the caretaker is one of the options that are helpful in difficult times.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
an
Correct word choice
if an
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 individual
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another city or country
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their job
then
Linking Words
 they could contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nurses or caretakers to look after them in their absence
Linking Words
For
Punctuation problem
. For
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 example, in India
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 a recent survey, the
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of caretakers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing for elderly
people
Use synonyms
 because their children
are lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in other cities and countries for
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
is raised
Verb problem
has risen
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 20% .
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they should teach their elders to operate smartphones
due
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
so
show examples
Linking Words
this
Use the right word
that
show examples
 they can contact
at
Correct pronoun usage
them at
show examples
 any
time
Use synonyms
 and order from the online market when they need something.
To conclude
Linking Words
, " every lock has its key."
However
Linking Words
, the young generation should understand
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
that this
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 elderly person just
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to spend some
time
Use synonyms
 with them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it
should
Verb problem
is
show examples
 their responsibility to look after them later age.

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Coherence
Add a short start that says what you will talk about and a short end that sums up.
Structure
Use clear groups of ideas in separate paragraphs.
Task
Give more detail for each reason and each solution. Add a small example for each.
Coherence
Use more linking words to join ideas.
Grammar
Check grammar and spell common words to be clear.
Content
The topic is clear and you want to help elders.
Content
You list some ways to care, like work from home and caretakers.
Example
There is a try to give an example from real life.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly care
  • work-life balance
  • geographical distance
  • support network
  • professional care services
  • extended family systems
  • responsibilities
  • burnout
  • work schedules
  • training programs
  • cost of living
  • social changes
  • caregiving
  • time constraints
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