IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people say that the government should not spend money building theaters and sport stadium. They should spend more on medical care and education nations instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #theaters #sport #stadium #care #education #nations
The government in many nations are paying budget
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 complex.
While
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 argue that they should spend on healthcare and
education
. In my opinion, I surely agree that if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 spend money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 hospital and school, it will be great.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
 situation. First of all, investing in public heath and school can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-term
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for
socity
Correct your spelling
society
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if people have good
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
,and
also
 they have good
edcation
Correct your spelling
education
, the
country
 will be
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 because healthcare and
education
 are very important for
develop
Change the form of the verb
developing
show examples
 people in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
country
Wrong verb form
countries are
show examples
 always
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 and
education
 because they think that
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 and
education
 are
besic
Correct word choice
the best
show examples
 life
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. So,I think that the government must
to paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 money to
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 more than others.
On the other hand
, some of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 group believe that paying money
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 theaters and
sport centre
Fix the agreement mistake
sports centres
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very important because they will get more income ,and they can promote their
country
. But,I think that before we support
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
 and
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. We must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
support
education
 and
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 first.
To sum up
, I totally agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 and
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 are very
usuful
Correct your spelling
useful
,and the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
support them before others.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.
Task Achievement
Provide more developed reasoning and examples to support your main points.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: