IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that the government should not spend money building theaters and sport stadium. They should spend more on medical care and education nations instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #theaters #sport #stadium #care #education #nations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The government in many nations are paying budget
in
Change preposition
for
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entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
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 and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 complex.
While
Linking Words
someone
Correct your spelling
some
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 argue that they should spend on healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I surely agree that if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 spend money
in
Change preposition
on
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 hospital and school, it will be great.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation. First of all, investing in public heath and school can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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long-term
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 for
socity
Correct your spelling
society
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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if people have good
healthy
Replace the word
health
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,and
also
Linking Words
 they have good
edcation
Correct your spelling
education
, the
country
Use synonyms
 will be
development
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developed
show examples
 because healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 are very important for
develop
Change the form of the verb
developing
show examples
 people in
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
Use synonyms
country
Wrong verb form
countries are
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 always
interesting
Replace the word
interested
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 in
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 and
education
Use synonyms
 because they think that
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 and
education
Use synonyms
 are
besic
Correct word choice
the best
show examples
 life
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. So,I think that the government must
to paying
Wrong verb form
pay
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 money to
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 more than others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 group believe that paying money
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 theaters and
sport centre
Fix the agreement mistake
sports centres
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very important because they will get more income ,and they can promote their
country
Use synonyms
. But,I think that before we support
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
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 and
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. We must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
support
education
Use synonyms
 and
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 first.
To sum up
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, I totally agree
with
Change preposition
that
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academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 and
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 are very
usuful
Correct your spelling
useful
,and the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
support them before others.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
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Task Achievement
Provide more developed reasoning and examples to support your main points.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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