Some poeple say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

#poeple #home #workplace #place

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bar charts give information on the fraction of people purchasing various types of

music

for different ages and gender groups.

Overall

, the percentage of males purchasing

music

is larger than that of females in all genres,

while

pop and rock

music

share the same pattern of

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

popularity with age. Considering the popularity of

music

by age, Rock and Pop closely resemble each other with those of ages 16-24 making up about 30%, 25-34 standing at a slightly greater value than 30%,

people

Correct word choice

and people

show examples

of age between 35 and 44

totaling

Change the spelling

totalling

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a number close to 25% and the oldest group contributing to less than 10 % in both musical genres. The Classical

Music

differs significantly from the previous two with most listeners between ages 25-34 and those older than 45 constituting about 15% and 20% respectively. As for the gender composition of the listeners,

Correct article usage

the males

show examples

males

Fix the agreement mistake

male

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fraction prevails in all groups with a difference of around 10% for Rock and Pop and about 2% for classical

music

when compared to the proportion of women.

Also

, the total fraction of listeners to classical

music

is much smaller when compared to two other genres, making up about 15%,

while

the other two stand at about 45% each.

Submitted by dulskywork on Sun Oct 29 2023

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task response

Overall, the essay addresses the task and presents clear ideas. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a good organization of ideas with a clear logical structure. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed.

lexical resource

The essay shows a strong command of vocabulary and effectively uses appropriate terms to describe the charts. It would benefit from the incorporation of more varied vocabulary.

grammatical range

The essay showcases a strong grasp of grammar with minimal errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of sentence complexity and variety.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

205 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

tidy
organised
correct place
sense of order
calmness
promote
enhance
productivity
efficiency
accidents
safety
locate
clutter-free
stress
mental well-being
professionalism
impression
cleaning
organizing
dust
dirt

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Some poeple say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries goverments are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of goverment money?