In some countries family and friends who care for the elderly do not find time to look after them. What are the reasons and solutions?

The presented table gives information about the amount of spare
time
spent per activity by people of varying
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
in
Someland
Correct your spelling
Homeland
.
Overall
, the value of leisure
time
tends to decrease with age, with the exception of the older groups,
while
watching
TV
or videos is by far the most popular activity for all of the ages. We can clearly see, that almost all ways of spending free
time
lose their attention over the course of the first 40-50 years of a person’s life. Watching
TV
, socialising with 4 or more people,
group
exercise
and cinema behave in
such
fashion, experiencing a severe decrease of 700, 300, 300, 25
hours
respectively.
On the other hand
,
while
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
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about 50 years, one generally takes more
time
to get some leisure.
Thus
, even though some ways to spend
time
like
group
exercise
plummet to zero, many make a recovery, like
TV
standing firmly at 1100
hours
and cinema gaining 50
hours
in comparison to its lowest point. Concerning the fraction of
time
activities take,
TV
is dominant in each
group
having 1200
hours
at its peak with no less than 400
hours
in each
group
of age,
while
the only other activity to surpass
this
level is the
group
exercise
for the youngest
group
.
While
large
group
socialising and
group
exercise
are some of the most popular sorts of leisure for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teens, they give up their attention to socialising with smaller groups, individual
exercise
and cinema, with all of the latter losing a bit in numbers, though making some gains if their proportions are considered.
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task response
Ensure that you address all parts of the prompt in your essay. In this case, you discussed the reasons and solutions for the lack of time to care for the elderly by family and friends. Make sure to include this information clearly in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with separate paragraphs for each main idea. However, there is room for improvement in linking your ideas together. Use cohesive devices such as transitional words and phrases to make your writing flow more smoothly.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, but try to vary your word choice more and avoid repetition. Additionally, aim to use more specific and precise vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is solid overall, with only a few minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to ensure grammatical accuracy throughout your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly care
  • work-life balance
  • geographical distance
  • support network
  • professional care services
  • extended family systems
  • responsibilities
  • burnout
  • work schedules
  • training programs
  • cost of living
  • social changes
  • caregiving
  • time constraints
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